Imported marriage customs

By Sunit Giri

Seven circles round a sacred fire, a few promises for ever lasting bondage, exchange of rings and garlands, a pinch of sindur on the brides forehead, a mangalsutra around her neck and a few mantras recited by pundits. It all seems so easy and hassle- free. But now, a marriage ceremony in our culture has taken a different form.

Today, a marriage ceremony is associated with status. You cannot just go into a temple, make the pundit chant a few mantras and exchange garlands. Today, you must have an organized function. A function that will give you status symbol and recognition and, most importantly, compel you to waste your hard -earned money. The entire process can be
divided into three theories of modern marriage.

The first theory is the theory of Engagement. Today going for an engagement is like going for a Janti (marriage procession. The bride’s family has to provide the groom’s guests with a suitable place and a reasonable meal, and expensive jewellery and clothes for the bridegroom. The function has to be of a very high standard no even’ if the brides father has to beg, borrow or steal. This is not all. Wait till the real Janti comes.

The second theory is the theory of Janti. Gone are the days when Janti used to come in small numbers.

Today, they come in extra large crowd wearing flashy suits and salwars. The larger the number of vehicles, the better the status of the bridegroom’s family. The music band also play a great role, for they are the ones who enter the house first. The more money you spend, the better Band Party you get, From the locals to armymen and to the police, you name it, pay for it, and you will get it. Let us not forget the Sagun (auspicious food). The Sagun has to be lavish, or better be prepared to hear some nasty comments. This is also one of the occasions where you can display your precious stones and glittering metals. The use of best salons and beauty parlours is a must. Latest designer wears adds to your prestige. Well, if you do not compromise with these rules, then you may turn out to be a comedian. Do not forget, every single second you are being screened and filmed with the latest still and motion cameras. And don’t forget the eye to eye contact with your opposite sex. This is, in fact, a very important occasion for all those charming bachelors around. And who knows, you may have your luck awaiting you.

Daijo Pewa (dowry) also plays an important role. Bed, sofa, colour television, freeze and washing machines are very simple offerings. Today, you have to give much more or the bride’s future will be in peril.

The third and final theory is the theory of Reception- the most crucial of all. You will be worried, if your house is small, or if you do not have a parking space, not to talk of food. Anxiety and nervousness come in your way, not once but many times. But don’t worry. This is an age of professional party houses, up to date and complete caterers, lavish houses, cars, beds and decorators ( don’t know what not). Alcoholic drinks and different varieties of meat and fish are a must these days. Believe it or not ice-creams in winter, too, has become compulsory. Now days, you can even have an exclusive stall for nuts and cigars of high quality.

Look at what the influence of Hindi movies have done to us.

Where are we heading towards? Is there a limit to all this nonsense? Where are social norms? What will happen to all those people who cannot afford pomp and show? Don’t their children have the right to get married? The questions are too many and the answers too few. But shall we do something, or go on embracing this imported and outlandish practice? Yes, it is up to us..

Handy tips for meditation

By Ramesh Prasad Bhatt

The simplest way to start daily meditation is by having a thought for the day. Here are some I have found useful:

My kingdom is within me. I believe that I am the architect of my own fate. I will be the master of my circumstances, and not their slave. Tomorrow will bring new strength, new hopes, new opportunities and new beginnings. I will conquer all obstacles and turn them into opportunities. I will not waste my mental energy in useless worry. One minute of anger means 60 seconds of unhappiness and, perhaps, hours of remorse. I will maintain perfect health. I will become positive and dynamic. I will be true to myself... the list is long.

Many students find it helpful to read about meditation first, to be told that the power to face every challenge lies within themselves. But for those embroiled in anxiety and self doubt, find it very hard to believe in meditation positively.

The following are some of the tips for good meditation:

Slow down and ease the pounding of you heart by relaxing your mind. Steady your pace with a vision of eternity. Break the tension of your nerves with soothing music or sound sleep. Teach yourself the art of contemplating with the beauty of a flower or a bird, of chatting with friends, patting a dog or a cat, or reading a few lines from a poem or a good book. Remind yourself that there are other things, besides the rush and drudgery of daily life.

You need time to tranquillize the mind with peace. What you want is something to make you spring into life and action. But the most invigorating thing you can do at any time- after rising halfway through your day, or before you go to work, is to take a few minutes just to be still, to say to your body, to your mind, emotions, thoughts and feelings, that you need peace. Be still: peace is here.

You can gain great reserves of strength and power when you are in contemplation with the Nature . When you are in ‘stillness’ you renew your energy, rebuild your body, reshape your thoughts, and calm your emotions.

At times, your anxieties may be too great to find yourself in the still. Take a break from what you are doing or thinking and say the single word, that helps you to be on the alert. Let the river of life flow through the triangle of your body, mind and spirit.

You do not have to wait until some indefinite future to realize your inner strength. You do not have to wait until you are out of your difficulty or the disharmony in which you find yourself. Your inner strength is with you now, right where you are. Every minute of your existence, you live and move and find yourself in this natural strength, and the fullness of love, power and peace are with you.

When the temptation comes to run away from life and from distressing circumstances, just simply stop, become still and ask yourself: why don’t I trust the strength within me and negative feelings will fade away. Peace will flow into your hearts and assure you that all is well. Constantly practice thinking, healing thoughts and you will be filled with the joy of living and with it will come new vitality, new confidence, and new courage. You will have to inject strengthen into your mind and body, all of a sudden life appears to be brighter than before. Your understanding will be quickened and your abilities honed. At any hour of the day or night just call upon the power of the strength within you.

Overcoming fear and worry, these are the times of great change, both in world affairs and in the lives of individuals. However, they offer no cause for fear or insecurity to a student of mediation. No matter what world of personal circumstances are, you will always find that in the way of meditation, you are in harmony. Even during a period of great unrest, you are always in touch with the source of goodness within you. Look at your inner spirit for guidance and enlightenment by simply sitting still and peaceful for, at least, a short time every day. Simply try to be still and peaceful, know that your spirit is with you and you will discover wonderful power within you.

Take a deep breath and soothe yourself and think: I am still and peaceful.

Then as you consciously let the breath go, a sense of peace win come over you. You will have the assurance that thing that worried you is the anxiety over keeping your inner strength intact. You will feel an inner peace growing within you. The days ahead get better, and worries and desires slip away as you release yourself into a being still.

Enjoy the flow of life having learnt the art of deep relaxation, you can appreciate the natural rhythms of
your body as you live in a relaxed, yet positive way.

We must learn to allow changes both in ourselves and others. Therefore, you must be open to new influences and positive energies. As your life moves and you see growth and changes in yourself, you acquire new confidence and peace. Be willing to let go of undesirable elements and accept new forces for better. Don’t weep over your failure and forgive others for disappointing you. The secret of good life is to expect nothing. And good and bad experiences are all part of the current of life.

Story of ‘micro van kids’

By Subash Atreya

Few years ago, it was the picture of carpet industry that popped up in our mind whenever the issue of child labour arose, but now it is the four wheeler micro van that rules the world of child labour. It is now rare to find any micro van without a small kid collecting money from passengers as he enjoys the rhythm of music emanating from loud speakers inside the van. Usually, these kids are seen in ragged and tattered clothes. From six o’clock in the morning to eight at night, they are seen calling passengers and loading them into the van. They are always sincere to their master (the driver of the van) and work according to his whims and wishes. These are the kids who are learning to jump without learning to crawl first.

These kids have walked on various tracks before finally reaching the micro van destiny. Most of them hail from different villages in Nepal due to unpleasant family conditions, have ran away from their home and entered into Kathmandu out of frustration. Some are pampered children who took this profession to escape studies and while others are destitutes.

When queried about their job choice, Rajkumar, a micro-boy in a van from Ratna Park to Naranthan answered, "Got noting else to do better than this."

"It is better to work as Khalasi than return home", said the other.

"School is not the place for me. It is now impossible for me to join school," replied another kid.

"Who will pay for my tuition and other costs at school and even if I somehow passed SLC, will I be able to earn more than I am earning right now? I know how to count money and give the change. That is enough for me," said the more sensible one.

Some refused to talk about the issue, while others remained quiet when asked the question. But even in their silence, they gave an impression that they are carrying a menacing story behind their usual smiling faces.

Despite their unpleasant past and present situation they are in, all of them seem to be quite in terms with the style of life they have adapted. They seem to be enjoying calling for and ushering in potential passengers, jokes that they share with their master and the monkey business they do whenever a beautiful lady enters into the van. The loud Nepali music played inside the van adds to their otherwise monotonous task. At a first glance, we get carried away by their seemingly carefree life. However, this impression does not hide their misery and uncertain future. As these boys grow up, they will have to retire from their job as new home escapees join in to take up their job. This job would have been quite fine, if it could provide future security. But the job of conductor in micro van, which seems to be especially reserved for the children under fifteen, cannot supply them with grains once they cross the age limit. Although it seems quite attractive in the short-run, this job is bound to invite privation in the future. The future of these micro van boys is still uncertain and they may not reaching nowhere even after spending more than ten years of their life inside a micro van. The precarious nature of this job intensifies further as the argument over right to education is raised. The fifteen years of their life, deprived of education, throws them into a quagmire from where they will never be able to find a way out. They will be left with neither skills nor knowledge but only with the faces of different people whom they have called into the van. Therefore, it is the most unproductive form of child labour that should have been totally banned in the entire nation.

Certainly, being a micro van boy is better than being a Khate (scavenger), but there are other relatively better options than this micro van business. Any particular form of child labour cannot be regarded as ignoble if that work teaches something to children and equips them with assets to sustain their future. Considering the present calibre of the government that cannot even implement its own policies, it is highly unlikely that it will be able to make the primary education compulsory for all children. So in such a circumstance, nothing can be done if poor kids lend their hand in factories when the doors of schools are closed for them. But the micro van can, in no way, contribute to the development of these kids. Therefore, this current trend of kids going in for micro vans certainly proves to be troublesome in the long run which the immature mind of the kids cannot figure out. Hence, it is the order of the day the government and responsible citizens save these boys from falling into a bottomless pitch. In a nutshell, the government should take the initiative to alleviate this pressing problem and get the support from the public in order to achieve its goal of liberating child labourers. If possible, it should endeavour to provide these kids with education, or it should, at least give them vocational training.

Victory of knowledge over science in Sama’s Prahlad

By Khem Aryal

Eastern philosophy has been bragging its technological superiority since more than three thousand years. The Vedas epics- Mahabharat and Ramayana as well as Upanishads- are towers of knowledge in the history of human civilization. The advancement in science and technology were remarkable. In the Ramayana, we find a description of the "Puspak Biman" (celestial airplane). Nevertheless, the knowledge has acquired superior position in the Eastern philosophy since ancient times. The celebrated and, perhaps, the greatest dramatist of Nepal, the late Balakrishna Sama has penned down beautifully about the victory of knowledge over science in his play- Prahlad, which is based on
the religious story- Srimad Bhagawada.

In Prahlad, Sama has presented three categories of beings: god, men and demons. The story of the play revolves, basically, around demons (Rakshyas). There is only one human being in the play with a minor role. In the play, the gods devote themselves to knowledge whereas demons are possessed themselves.

By origin, demons belong to a brilliant race. They had come into existence through the contact of the Hindu ascetics, meditating on the Himalayan heights with giant maidens of lower regions. The new race grew up to be their own masters and despised gods, while honouring the Supreme Lord-Brahma. They started to think themselves as superior to Indra, Kuber and other gods. They started to go against even Vishnu, the Great Maintainer. The demons, with their king Hiranya Kashipu, who had obtained the boon of ‘no death’ from Brahma, threatened heaven with science as their weapon.

On the other hand, Prahlad, the youngest son of the demon king, was a devotee of Vishnu. In spite of devoting himself to the attainment of the knowledge of science, he continued to sing of Vishnu, the arch-enemy of his father and the whole satanic race.

The play opens with Chakramurti, the demon scientist, praising his invention of wheel. He was of the opinion that scientific knowledge measures one’s greatness. But ‘the deities decry science’s value through ignorance’. When the messenger from the deities asked him for something to eat he advised them to work (work physically not mentally) or to go to the deities to beg and to feed on knowledge.

Likewise, Hiranya Kashipu’s blind faith in science was almost naive on all occasions. When Namuchi’s dead body was brought, he ordered his scientist to apply all science to bring the dead back to life. Halaa, their Vaidya’s (doctor), helplessness to do this turned him into an icon of anger. He asked Halaa why he could not restore life, if science could turn grey hair into pure black, as Halaa had informed him earlier.

Even after he was almost assured that Namuchi could not be brought back to life, he was not ready to accept the supremacy of death. Instead, he was committed to challenging the Nature. For him, Supreme God and Vishnu were just tools of an imagination. It clearly shows that he was barren of knowledge. But Hiranya Kashipu was different; he needed science. So, he was determined to destroy and kill the deities, including Vishnu. On the other hand, Prahlad could not satisfy himself by just learning science. He thought that science only showed what was already created by the Supreme. So, knowledge of the Supreme was the most important thing for him. The two preceptors, Shanda and Marka, could not make him devote himself to their teachings. Instead, one of the preceptors is compelled to accept that "someone was his instructor inside the womb."

Prahlad said he would learn his preceptor’s lesson anyway. This came as a hard blow to Kashipu’s ego. He was more determined to destroy Vishnu. His son surrendered himself to his service singing ‘Narayan, Narayan’, despised science and insisted that the truth be studied.

He made all other demon students give up learning science to study a single numeral of knowledge of truth with a pure conscience. Shanda made considerable efforts at changing his students’ mind. But Prahlad started to teach his preceptor that science was an alien, while knowledge of truth was the fact. And then came up, perhaps, the best quoted line by Sama, from Prahlad "Knowledge dies in joyful laugh while science dies weeping by."

Nevertheless, it would be a fallacy to interpret that he devoted himself to knowledge at the cost of science. He seemed to be involved in that struggle simply to save his faith in knowledge. Narad had told him to remain there, instead of going with deities (to heaven) to bring unity between science and knowledge. Likewise, he advised his friends, too, to merge science with knowledge and to sing hymns for Vishnu.

When the demon king was convinced that Prahlad could not be changed, he decided to take his son’s life. But instead of being anxious, Prahlad started talking like an elevated saint, expressing his profound faith that death is inevitable and a means to be with, Lord Vishnu. While he was chanting praises for Vishnu, Prahlad was thrown down from the hill top into a gorge.

But to every demon’s surprise, he escaped death. Even an elephant could not kill him. Even the fire could not destroy him. By now, some started believing his divinity. Shanda and Marka left the demon land for their motherland. But even after such incidents, Hiranya Kashipu, worked hard to convince them. However, even though his desperate efforts failed, Kashipu was more than determined to kill him.

Tied onto a pillar, Prahlad got lost in the faith of Vishnu, the ultimate truth. This time Kashipu asked Prahlad to show where his Vishnu was so that he could be saved from the mouth of death. It should be noticed that he suggested resorting to science. But Prahlad believed that the unseen was stronger than the seen ones. At this moment, the unseen became visible. An incarnation of Vishnu,
a man-lion, (Narasimha) tore Kashipu’s belly that inflicted on him mortal injuries. Just before his death, he confessed his belief in the supremacy of the Almighty.

In this way, the conflict between knowledge and science was settled down. Kashipu believed only in
the visible materials and in
scientific truths. But Prahlad yearned for the attainment divine knowledge- Gyan. And his desire for
spiritual knowledge made him a divine child.

(Based on English version by Sri Tika Ram Sharma; published by Royal Nepal Academy)