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| Kathmandu, Wednesday December 31, 2003 Paush 16, 2060. |
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Private affair
By Anjali
2003 is also gone. No matter what, now I am going to get
married. Let the whole world oppose, but I will not let, at least, 2004 defeat me.
The thought of marriage flashed in my head two years back.
Since then, I have been doing everything to turn my dream into a reality. It may sound
unusual but it was the political and social uncertainties that put an obstacle to my
intention. Marriage is a personal matter. People might wonder as to how political or
social conditions can act as stumbling blocks? But their question doesn’t undo all
what the reverse situations did to me. So, in such a frustrated mood I feel not much
obliged to put forward the answers in detail.
Well, another obstacle that has cropped up is a pal of mine.
More unpractical and more forgetful than me, yet who really suggests good sometimes, says
‘NO’ to my decision. “You have already put one leg in a ditch by falling in
love. Now, by getting married, you want to sink another leg too? Why do you want to fall
into a ditch from where you can never come out?”
I am sure, this time her suggestion is not good at all.
And, where on the earth is it written that you must listen to
people every time, even if that be your very close friend? I give a damn to her bitter and
unromantic words. How would she know what does it mean to be in love. And marriage, yet
another gift of life! I tried hard to bring in her a similar experience of love so that
her attitude would change and she, too, would check out the unbelievable sensations. But,
on the other hand, though she looks excited for a few days in the beginning, her changed
chemistry turns the matter completely awful at the end. Either she becomes overactive or
simply remains too dull, that just ruins the story. And what always becomes her final
dialogue to me is,” You know, I can never take such things seriously. Fools fall in
love. Hurt? Me? Never! Such stupid things don’t hurt me.”
I can see that she is disturbed and hurt. But I pretend to
believe her remarks and she accepts my pretension.
Now, why she is suggesting me not to marry is because of her
fear of losing me. After all, I am the one who honestly listens to her, and even if I’ve
to pretend, I don’t make her feel uncomfortable. After my going to my groom’s
home, which is likely to be rather away from our present locality, she will really be
alone. I don’t think I will be completely oblivious towards this friend of mine even
after my departure.
Though human values deeply capture me, I hardly trust
traditional and social values. But I am not sure, if I happen to turn into a real
daughter-in-law, though not in nature and only in appearance and duty, it will be quite
hard for me to give warm company to her. And I am worried. No doubt, a voice in some
corner suggests me not to count the chickens before they are hatched. Well, but my
excitement, would it listen? No. I make sure that I will not waste 2004 at any cost. And
about my dear friend, let me think more seriously and practically. Shall I not waste her
2004 too? Well, one of us shall finish the work, no matter who.
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