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| Kathmandu, Tuesday March 11, 2003 Falgun 27, 2059. |
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Can this be Man’s Day too ?
By SANGITA RAYAMAJHI
Women’s Day makes it easier for those who want to consider women as the other. The
‘other’ is
a big subject in postcolonial discourse. Many scholars have devoted great works to explain
this
concept. Women writers have always been occupied with this question—should women be
presented as exclusive people or as those who are part of the mainstream of the grand
history
like men? But celebration of Woman’s Day gives both qualities to women’s
position in the
society. Once again the celebration of Women’s Day proved that women are indeed
different from
men. Ninety three years ago it was established that March 8 would be their day. These
celebrations that take place throughout the world then show that things are going on in
the realms
of women’s activities, about their rights as human beings and their position in the
society. In
Nepal how far have things changed for the better for the Nepali woman?
In Nepal Women’s Day was dotted with seminars on women’s issues, women’s
empowerment,
launching of books written by women, submission of the annual report of the National
Women’s
Commission to the Minister for Women Children and Social Welfare, staging of plays
depicting
the victimization of women, peace rallies and many other celebrations. But to make the
programme so exclusive to women only may lose its force in its entirety. Let me cite a
book that I
read sometime ago on Japanese women and their rise to power. A Japanese Company created a
day for girls. It began to be celebrated as a festival and to make presents to the girls
on this day,
the company that had come up with this idea to create a product. And the Company reserved
the
patent rights of the production. This festival turned out to be a national thing, the
Company
thrived. Later on, another Company took up the idea and created a day for boys and came up
with
the production of appropriate gifts. The Company flourished.
The exclusiveness of the Women’s Day celebration might end up being a mere festival
where
women see the necessity to do something—seminars and talk programmes just out of a
need to
mark the day. Such programmes become inconclusive. What is spoken at the programme about
women and their rights needs to at least generate some sort of awareness among those
present
so that they are able to speak for women when the need may arise. But here in Kathmandu,
it
makes me feel good to see men and women both participating in order to talk on
women’s rights.
But I have also seen something else that does not make me happy. That is people gather
together, create a mood of formality, men and even some women who do not have sensitivity
about the rights of the women of this land and those of the others come up and speak
glibly on
subject of rights and their further agenda. Such formalities do not have any relevance to
women’s
problems in this country.
In countries of South Asia we have a tendency to create a bigger image on such days and
create
a pattern of submission to that image. The image can be of women or men. Usually, such
days
end up by being festivals through the creation of such images. The rest of the women form
circles
around those images. But this festive pattern of celebration though critiqued by many has
its own
charm and their functions are many and very important. First of all people smile as they
even
greet each other with a ‘Happy Women’s Day’. Such programmes do not have a
political texture,
there is no complaining about the unequal power structure, there are no cries of identity
crisis nor
can one hear any sniggering or see any cynical smiles of men.
I went to one such programme which was a complete change from the other programmes that
had marked the day. It was a programme of the Army Officers Wives Association. The setting
was serene, the programme was carefully yet strikingly conducted. It did not need to enter
into
gender politics or ruminate on the rights of women. The programme was able to bring out
the
feminine side of women. Their love for the aesthetics of life, the works they were able to
accomplish as women, the display of handicrafts for sale all brought out these intrinsic
qualities
of women. But this atmosphere of gaiety was at one point sliced through by reality when
Ram
Maya Tiwari victim of the Maoist Movement brought tears to the eyes of the rest of the
women
present. This was a moment which brought forth the fact that women have in various ways
helped
the poor and victimized women.
The women of Nepal thus transform Woman’s Day into a day of festivity as well as a
day for
making their demands known to the society, and claim their rightful places in the state
apparatus.
But how far do these voices reach? Do they reach the concerned authorities, those who run
the
state, those who make the policies or in other words those who run the show, but from
behind the
scene? Peace negotiations between the government and the Maoists are underway. We hear of
government and different party representatives, preparing to negotiate, or participating
in the
peace. Women have been, even much before the cease-fire talking about women’s
representation
in the negotiations. Have those people, the mediators or those others pulling the strings
ever
shown any sign, let alone articulate that women should take part in peace negotiations,
too?
When Dr Henning Karcher spoke on Women’s Day that women should be included in the
peace
negotiations, he was not saying something new. He was simply reiterating the feelings of
so
many women in this urban centre. But I just wonder what does it take to really get these.
This time, too, it is simply the repetition of human history in Nepal. The impact of the
Maoist
insurgency of the last few years has fallen squarely on the women. They have borne the
greatest
brunt of all these wars and killings. Family dissolution, bereavements, orphaned children
have
been their share. The educated social women’s rights activists who have been working
for women
with women, and exploring and studying the psyche of the poor, battered and violated women
(much before the insurgency and after) and those others under the poverty line have
through these
decades been inculcating values and value priorities which graduate them into being more
successful than many men who profess to be efficient in such matters. But this time, too,
like all
times in our history capable women have to wait with ration cards in their hands for men
to dole
out stuffs. But this is a question I ask our capable women: why don’t they speak out?
We are not
talking about reservations here! This is a once in a life time situation where the future
of the
country is at stake, and for women to participate in the negotiation would mean to ensure
that the
humane aspect of those on the other side of the table is brought to the fore, analysed and
something done about it.
What have we seen since last year? In this whole year women of Nepal have not gained
anything
important. Many promises have surfaced. The previous government did offer some
commitments,
but have they delivered their promises? Perhaps next year, or perhaps the next government
or
perhaps and so on.
Waiting has become a metaphor that defines the status of the women of Nepal today. This
year’s
Women’s Day is yet another such metaphor. It is always difficult to be conscious of
the time, but
my feeling is that women should develop a sense of proportion to see what is going on
around
them and beyond the fence. The woman’s day should be man’s day too because they
should
realise how important it is to work with women and to listen to their voice. Making
Women’s Day
or days exclusive or like festivals of women is as detrimental as being marginalised would
imply.
Let us wait together not for Godot as characters in Thomas Beckett’s play Waiting for
Godot do,
but for a meaningful future that knocks at our door.
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