 |
|
| Kathmandu, Sunday May 25, 2003 Jestha 11, 2060. |
|
Dowry : Where are we heading ?
By KRISHNA P ACHARYA
Recently, I experienced an incident, which was quite extraor
dinary for anyone who lives in the Kathmandu valley. One of my relatives left the entire
dowry and brought only the bride back home. If it was for a good cause, then we should
have honoured him, but it wasn’t. The dowry was left, as he was not given a motorbike
as asked by the groom’s family. Anyway, the bride’s parents somehow managed a
motorbike and the dowry was accepted a day after.
The tradition of dowry, a present or gift provided by either
side of marrying couple to the other side, is not prevalent all over the world. But the
tradition is still intact and the concerned countries have always struggled hard to
abolish it. The tradition is alive mainly in Asian and African countries, despite harsh
laws introduced by those countries.
The tradition of presenting dowry varies among ethnic groups
in many countries. The bridegroom’s families have to provide dowry, also called bride
price, to the bride’s family especially in around one and a half dozens countries
where the tradition is very much alive. In countries like Kenya, Morocco, Zambia, Saudi
Arabia, Nigeria and Tanzania, the payment of bride price is common, whereas in countries
like India, Nepal, Greece, Burundi and Algeria, dowry has to be provided to groom’s
family.
Most of the above listed countries have either banned the
tradition or introduced harsh laws to check the tradition. India, the foremost country in
dowry violence, records about 6,000 to 7,000 dowry deaths per year (5,513 death in 1996
and 6,917 in 1998). Brides, who are unable to bring in enough dowries, are burnt to death.
According to British Council’s India Development Information Network report 2001, a
woman is burnt every 10 minutes and the number of such incidents is rising. Since many of
such incidents go unreported, the non-governmental organisations working against the
system predict that more than 25,000 brides are killed or maimed every year in this South
Asian country.
Although the dowry system is prevalent in Terai and hilly
urban areas in our own country Nepal, it has not yet reached that height. Besides
occasional news about burning the brides, mainly in Terai region, no large number of such
incidents has been recorded. But it would not be a wise to believe that it will always
remain so. It can’t remain so, as there are a number of cross-border marriages every
year and culturally, India always influences Nepal.
Probably, as most of us have already heard or experienced
cases as explained above, we are also heading to the same destination where India has
already reached and fighting hard to step back, but not successfully.
Dowry was banned in India on May 20, 1961. The Dowry
Prohibition Act was enacted by the Parliament after more than two-year-long legislative
consideration. The law, still alive, provides for imprisonment and fines for demanding,
giving, taking, or abetting a dowry, which the law defines as any valuable security or
property given or agreed to be given, directly or indirectly, as a consideration for
marriage. The law could not prove effective as the then Prime Minister Jawahar Lal Nehru
had hoped. Nehru hoped the new law would curb dowries and eventually eliminate them
through the development of public opinion while the legislation was passed.
Recently, 21-year-old Nisha Sharma of Noida, India hit the
headlines for sending her would-be husband behind bars from the Mandap as the groom’s
side demanded IRs 1,200,000 more. The groom faces severe legal action, but the case is
unique and it doesn’t happen always. India is suffering from the same social evil
that is rising its head in our country, too. The law alone is not effective, the better
option is to introduce measures that would block the rising evil when it is still at its
premature stage.
The Panchayat era, often considered as authoritarian reign,
had initiated some praiseworthy steps. One of them was the introduction of Society Reform
Act some four decades ago, which limited the number of people in the marriage procession
to 51 and also put a limit on the dowry. There are people who still call it nonsense, but
it should be considered as the most sensible step to curb the social evil of dowry.
The Act proved successful, with stern punishment against
violators, but it was maimed after 1980 and killed after the restoration of democracy in
1990. Dowry tradition often results in emotional exploitation of women. When a woman is
exploited for failing to bring dowry into the groom’s house, (in most cases) she
neither suffers from economic exploitation such as bonded labourers or Kamaiyas nor
economic deprivation like poverty; but she suffers a very complex psychological
exploitation that changes her life forever.
The bride may also be sexually or physically or verbally
exploited and mistreated. A woman who leaves behind all of her relatives in search of new
relationship in a stranger’s place, and has to perform household works like a
servant, goes through a very difficult psychological stress when someone comments on dowry
she had brought. She does not deserve all this.
The pro-woman rights activists have never raised the issue of
dowry seriously. They have asked for equality, the division of parent’s property but
not about the abolishment of the dowry system. Why are they silent over the issue? Let’s
not say because there is no foreign aid for it, but, certainly, they should have raised
the issue. Marriage has been fast changing into an extravagant affair, beyond the
capability of an average person. Dowry has added more woes to that. Marriage expenditure
is growing higher with the increase in the number of people in groom’s procession
along with a similar procession during the engagement.
If marrying off a daughter is a difficult task for someone,
then it is also the same for others. Why to bear the burden of unhappiness, emotional
exploitation and sadness then? Wouldn’t it be wiser to totally uproot the system? Or
at least put some limitations on all so that marriages become a happy event. And this is
the right time to think and act about it.
Other Stories
|
