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October, 2002 |
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Management |
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The Art of Negotiation
Much
has been written over the years about win-win negotiating. While the
concept is worth while, it doesn’t always work. There are times one
side has to lose while the other wins. However, that does not mean one
has to resort to negative tactics to win or to “get even”. Business
negotiations are rarely a onetime event. In business, two sides often
have to negotiate with one another on a regular basis. Therefore, it
becomes important to preserve a level of civility to preserve that
relationship. Adherence to basis etiquette and civility in negotiating
can help a great deal since etiquette does grease the wheels of a civil
society. Mind your manners Minding one’s manner is
not synonymous with playing doormat and having people walk all over you.
You can be strong in your negotiating position and still be courteous
and fair. Most important is to treat the other side with respect even
when their behaviour makes it difficult for you to treat them that way.
This involves basic courtesies like greeting people upon arrival. It is
also considerate to maintain the level of formality or informality set
by the meeting chairperson. Be punctual Respect includes being
considerate of another person’s time. Arrive punctually for the
meeting and make sure that there are no unnecessary interruptions. Come
prepared with any documentation that is required so the meeting
doesn’t have to be delayed or rescheduled because of your negligence.
And., don’t keep rehashing moot points; it only wastes everyone’s
time and adds to the level of tension and irritation. Being courteous
and civil is not synonymous with being liked and building a friendship
with the other side. While the likeability factor can play a role in
negotiations, giving you a better change of achieving your goals if the
opposing side likes you, you shouldn’t let that get in the way of the
negotiating process and the issues to be resolved. Being liked should
not be your primary goal. Work on your
communication skills Remember that a mind is
like a parachute; it must be open to be effective. Listen actively and
keep an open mind rather than deal from a position of entrenched
antagonism. Ask open-ended questions, the kind that require more than a
“yes” or a “no” in reply, rather than issue pronouncements.
Closed questions, requiring only a “yes” or “no” tend to defeat
problem solving because they are very one-sided in their approach. Be
careful of questions beginning with “why”, though, because they can
be perceived as confrontational. Invite discussion, and be open to
correction and persuasion. Openers like “Please correct me if I’m
wrong …” or “Help me to understand …” are much more likely to
spur the negotiating process and give you valuable information than some
pronouncement from your position platform. It is also helpful to
paraphrase your opponent’s statements. Assuming you understood what
was meant without paraphrasing can lead to a morass of misunderstanding
that can only escalate any conflict during negotiations. Analyse and
improve upon ideas from the opposition’s point of view. You are much
more likely to get “buy-in” from them if you build on their ideas
rather than insisting on yours. Ask their advice, if necessary, to
stimulate the discussion. If you feel the negotiation is becoming too
one-sided or disadvantageous to you, suggest that they look at it from
another perspective rather than insist that their opinions and positions
are wrong. This type of negotiation
brainstorming makes the other side feel valued, that their thoughts and
needs are important and being considered, too. A mutually satisfactory
solution is much more likely to result from this type of dialogue. Silence When in doubt, whether
about the point of discussion or your response, use silence. No one can
fault you for what you haven’t said. Silence makes most people
very uncomfortable, though, so be careful not to alienate your opponent
in other ways. Just remember, that prolonged silence can also make you
feel uncomfortable. However, he who speaks first loses. Don’t get angry The other side may try to
upset you to gain to controlling edge. Avoid responding to them in kind
and attacking them to put them on the defensive. Focus on cooperating
rather than agitating. Don’t browbeat, denigrate, insult or threaten
the opposing team. Such behaviour only damages relationships. Deflect
rather than respond to personal attacks and keep your emotions in check.
If you get really angry and upset, don’t start shouting and
threatening because the person who loses his temper loses the argument.
Instead, lower your voice and go as quite as possible to make you point.
A suddenly soft voice is much more effective in gaining everyone’s
attention than a fit of rating and raving. And, a soft voice is much
more likely to underscore the seriousness of your words. Exit Gracefully For all your effort to
arrive at a win-win solution or to remain civil, there are times when
you have no alternative but to exit gracefully. When the other side is
dishonest, lying, or cheating or when problem is impossible to resolve,
no amount of negotiation will do you any good. Accept that you have come
to an impasse or that you agree to disagree, and bid a courteous adieu. (Courtesy: Builder’s Friend, Vol. 29, No. 12) |
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