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December, 2003 |
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No laughing Matter |
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ABC of Business Jargons by Madan Lamsal After
Nepal entered the free market economy, many changes have taken place in
the area of business and there have developed some new business
terminologies while the old ones have received new meanings. I have
tried to collect few of them here: AGM
- Annual General Meeting of the shareholders who will receive chocolate
candies plus Rs.100 in cash. In some cases, lunch box is also provided. Accounting
Policy - It is a standard policy related to book keeping. One
fundamental principle of this policy says, "Never pay your debt but
keep nagging your clients for realizing your dues." Accrual
Accounting - A phrase derived from the name of an obscure Indian film
actor Akrur Singh. This system stands for closure of the books as
compared to disclosures that the regulators in western countries insist
for. That means under Accrual Accounting you never disclose the true
picture of your account to the government official, the shareholders or
the partners. Active
Partner - He is actually a sleeping partner who is however always active
in digging into the internal affairs of the other partner. As a result
of this the other partner who is presently active in business becomes a
sleeping one for ever. Awards
- Different articles supposedly made of bronze or copper (but actually
of aluminum) presented to those who need to be flattered for future
business interests of the presenter(s). Balance
of Payment - Salary and other overdues that remain as balance in the
books to be paid to the employees, suppliers and other parties. Balance
Sheet - A sheet of paper with profit balance if meant to be presented
for loan from the banks and with loss balance if meant to be presented
to the tax office and the sleeping partner. Bar
Code - A code of conduct to be observed in the pub. Under this you are
allowed to speak anything or any language you like as well as pinching
the waitresses and beating the waiters. Bear
Market - It is a market of light alcoholic beverage in which one dealer
is more likely to sell itself off to pay the bank loan. Big
Eight - The eight largest business houses that are believed to virtually
control the Nepali government irrespective of who comes to the power. Chairman
- A person who is happy as long as he is allowed to be on the chair
though the company he is heading is on a continuous downslide. Committee
- A body of a group of people formed to delay the solution of a
particular problem. Sometimes the objective may be to prepare a report,
which may further complicate the case. Contract
- A written document signed by two or more parties promising certain
obligations which the stronger of them can break without any fear of
being punished. Consumer
- A creature who can be fooled by promising a guarantee on the product
camouflaged under the phrase "Conditions Apply". Corporation - A government owned business organization that runs as a government department and fulfils miscellaneous needs of the politicians and the bureaucrats in power. |
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