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November, 2003

No laughing Matter

E-NARANs

by Madan Lamsal

A Non Resident Nepali (E-NARAN) participant in the recently concluded E-NARAN conference was complaining that Nepal was lacking so many things for E-NARAN investment:

#  "Nepal's political parties are defunct while only the tea parties and booze parties are alive.

#  Her government runs on borrowed funds and resorts to further borrowing to pay the past borrowings.

#  Her ambassadors resident in foreign countries are only hosts of dinners and receptions. For business promotions they are like ghosts that scare the people away.

#  She has many banks and many borrowers, but very few repayers who are proven fools by the banks themselves by offering rebates to the defaulters repeatedly.

#  Her intelligence forces cannot find a helicopter lost in a small valley for over two years.

#  Her businessmen believe in luck, and government sops and Indian and US quota than in entrepreneurship.

#  She has 17 tourism associations, who try separately to sell Nepal as a destination and thus end up not selling it at all.

#  Though she has chambers above chambers and within chambers, she lacks a single private sector association that sincerely works to promote private sector's agenda.

#  She has bureaucrats who worship power but want the Prasad from the ordinary people.

#  She has politicians who kow-tow foreign powers.

#  She has consumers who are happy with freebies and don't care the quality of the products.

#  She has trade unions who constantly struggle hard to get wage hikes but avoid making a fraction of that effort to improve productivity.

#  Her managers always try to avoid the decision making, but are always ready to make sermonising speeches.

#  She has consumer protection activists whose business is to get stipend from the INGOs.

#  She has ministers who are loyal neither to the king nor to the people, but to their own kith and kins.

#  She has Krishnaveers all along her major highways.

#  She has students who don't study and teachers who don't teach. Her law and order men create disorder. Her operators refuse to operate. Her salesmen don't sell and her servicemen don't serve."

#  She has professionals who enjoy more in making political comments than in professional analysis of the issues facing the society."

The E-NARAN's voice was getting louder complaining about the Nepali anomalies. He concluded, "In this situation, how can Nepal survive?"

Somebody stood from the floor and replied, "Mr. E-NARAN, you may be the Jwain-Naran of somebody where you reside. But sir, don't forget that Nepal has Four Narans who are more powerful than the 1.2 million E-NARANs.  More than that Nepal also has Lord Pashupatinath who will save her from all disasters. Do you have that where you live?"

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