FIFTH COLUMN

Name Game

By Sushma

An independent, successful, young lady from abroad was horrified when she was asked to write her husband’s or father’s name on the drivers licence form. When she protested that her father has been dead for a long time and she is not married, the authorities insisted that she write down her father’s name. When it became apparent that they were not going to deviate from the holy rule, she wrote down her father’s name, just to get the licence.

Amused, she recalled that back in her hometown in an affluent part of south east Asia, this had been the norm in the past. Only after much protest by women activists did they do away with the redundant line that demands a male’s name on a female’s form.

Why is there no space for wife’s name or mother’s name for a male to fill out - be it in a school form, college form, office form or any other formal forms? Do mothers and wives hold no importance in the eyes of the law makers?

It is sensible and practical to mention the next of kin in case of an accident or other incidents - and that could be any member of your family that you have, or choose to mention. How can a dead father come to your aid in case of an accident?

It is greatly amusing to see sticklers for law abiding by it as does a horse wearing blinkers - seeing neither right or left. Rules and regulations keep trouble makers in check and all that but it is also meant to facilitate progress and keep up with the times. Outdated norms need to be reformed, changed; the existing ones need to be constantly kept in form and de-rusted periodically.

In this partriarchal society, this may cause great discomfort and new ideas may even pose a threat to the old thinking males who take for granted that power over females is their birth right. But time does not and will not stop for those who demand respect by doing nothing. Respect has to be earned; especially from the fairer sex.

Hats off to one lady in this society, who challenged the patriarchal norms even in the most tragic moment by choosing to be the one to perform the last rites for her dead husband. For all we know, the soul of the husband is a lot happier than it would have been had the ritual been performed by a male Pundit who could not have cared less; or by some male relative who never cared about the deceased when alive; or by somebody who just has eyes on the benefits to be gained by performing the last ritual.

All these rules made by the males in favor of males designed to keep females strictly under their control are now being questioned by thinking females and liberated males. If looking after ones mother, wife, sister, daughter or any other female member was the priority, one could still do that without putting any shackles on the females. True love and care exist in freedom and trust, not in bondage.