DATING
changing trends

Binaj Gurubacharya

Used to be a time when parents got together with another set of parents and then set up things for you. Well … things are changing in our society too and for the better. At least a good number of people are deciding on their life partners and the parents are flowing with the trend too,

IT is that moment when you are with this person and everything around you goes hazy and the only thing that is in focus is you and that person. It is then when you realize you have met your destiny and this amazing feeling comes across you when you want to laugh and cry at the same time thinking how lucky you are to have found the right one and really scared it’ll all go away. It is this moment that you realize that you found your partner for life and your life is just made complete.

However, the route to this point is not easy. There are ladders, obstacles and hurdles that need to be passed before getting there. But finding the one before who you kneel down, hold his or her hand and ask him or her to be yours "till death do us apart" can be life’s biggest challenge and mission.

Used to be a time when parents got together with another set of parents and then set up things for you. Well … things are changing in our society too and for the better. At least a good number of people are deciding on their life partners and the parents are flowing with the trend too.

Ten years back, a young couple walking down the streets of Kathmandu would have had few heads turning their way wondering if they were really lovers. And if they were … how dare they defy the social norms and come out in the open like that. How can these youngsters have no respect for others. How could their parents let them out like that or what kind of people would raise them in such a manner or environment. Then the only couple seen would be either brother and sister or if at the most, classmates from college walking consciously trying every bit to avoid roving eyes.

Now, things are much different, it is the singles who stand out odd in the crowd. Seems like everyone has a partner and couples walking together no longer gather too much attention. For it is not a rare sight to see a man and a woman walking down Durbar Marg holding hands or find a couple in a restaurant lost in each others eyes. This is the time when even king of bachelors who you thought would never find his destiny ever in his life suddenly changes for the better and surprises everyone by announcing his wedding plans with a girl half his size but twice as smart that he just met last year. Hiding behind the dirty curtains of cabin restaurants has become a thing of the past as more and more couples are rebelling and coming out in the open forcing the conservative society to go on with the changing time or be left behind.

Things may have changed for the better, but the harsh truth is most youngsters in our society still shy away from approaching the person of their dream. They are just lost when it comes to going out on a date.

But the art of dating is not something you learn in school. It just comes naturally and differs from person to person. But the main key to success is listening to what your date is saying, analyzing it, appreciating it and keeping it stored in your mind. Trust me, it always comes in handy in the future when you are just trying to please him/her, picking up a gift or trying to make up and getting a jump out of the dog house.

But above all that making him/her feel that he/she is more important to you than yourself is the biggest key most people fail to follow and realize it only when it is too late. Breaking the ice can be difficult sometimes. Even if you really cannot think of anything to initiate a conversation with him/her, you have to follow moment-of-truth rule and they will apprecaiate the spontaneity of this approach.

When going out on a date, your looks does matter, but much less than you think they do. Experts say women see 90% of men as having approximately the same looks, especially men they meet for the first time. It is general knowledge that men judge women primarily by their looks and it is looks that turns them on and also what turns them off. Therefore they expect that the same works for women. Women however attribute much less importance to how a man looks as opposed to how the man can make her feel. Confidence is undeniably the key to successful dating.

Other things to keep in mind is that the good part about trying to date a girl you meet every day is that she spends a lot of time with you. The bad part is your chances of going out on a real date with her are dropping fast. The problem is that you very soon become indulged in the environment of routine, even if she has hots for you. To remedy this insist you go out on real night out once in a while. Beg, urge, cut a deal if not drag him/her but just do it before it gets out of hand.

Tongue piercing fair

By Em Kishor Shrestha

The photograph features one of the most unique traditions found in this part of the world. This is the "Tongue Piercing Festival" of Bode , a 9th century town 5 km east of Kathmandu. This festival is held every mid April.

South Asia, extending from the mighty Himalayas to the vast oceans beholds a rich and exotic culture since thousands of years. Here, we see people from many

ethnic groups following different religions and unique traditions. However diverse they may seem, they are all held together by the timeless wisdom, revered culture and above all, the common faith of ensuring respect towards nature.

The photograph features one of the most unique traditions found in this part of the world. This is the "Tongue Piercing Festival" of Bode, a 9th century town 5 km east of Kathmandu. This festival is held every mid April.

As the legend goes, once upon a time in Bode, the attendants of Goddess Nilbarahi, used to help in the villagers work in disguise. And the naive people took them to be their helpful brethren.

But a particular attendant of Goddess Nilbarahi started to scare the villagers by appearing in his original ghastly form.

This troubled the villagers very much and one day they got a famous Tantric (a sorcerer) to trap the ghost. After he was trapped, they punished him by shaving his long hair, cutting his nails and eventually pierced his long tongue with sharp needles. The ghost could not bear the pain, and begged for mercy. Finally both the parties reached an agreement. In exchange for his freedom, the attendant agreed to help regulate the rainfall, safe harvest of crops, and save them from natural calamities. They also made him agree to appear every year on the same day to get his tongue pierced.

Since then, the tongue piercing festival has been celebrated every year in Mid-April, by the people of Bode. Anybody can participate and be a part of the festival. There are no so called barriers of cast and creed.

On the first day of the festival, one who is supposed to undergo this tongue piercing is made to follow a series of ritualistic intricacies. He has to fast for four consecutive days eating nothing. And on the grand ceremony of the fourth day, amidst a huge crowd and traditional music bands, the tongue piercing is done.

Indra Shrestha, a 45 year old person from Bode, underwent the process this year. All the people around him are mere onlookers who just enjoy witnessing this unique event. Any local resident can participate in the festival. Though there are no restrictions, no one has yet stood up to take his place, he laments. This was Indra’s 5th consecutive year that he got his tongue pierced. And he is hoping for a brave youth to succeed him.

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