Parents should also

Min Prasad Bhandari

With the changing circumstances in the education system and the centres of learning increasing, even educated parents have started to feel obsolete when it comes to coping with the educational activities of their children. In spite of having the desire to guide them, some busy parents don’t find the time to do so, while there are other illiterate parents who think that their involvement with the learning activities of their children is a mere waste of time since they consider themselves incapable of interfering. Though some concerned parents seek private tutors, coaching classes and expensive school admissions as a solution, these attempts too have proved unsatisfactory. While many parents do not consider infancy as a crucial stage of learning, some conscious parents try to overload the children only with bookish knowledge. With some exceptions, most didactic activities of the parents have turned out to be ineffective or futile. As a result, children are missing proper parental guidance at home resulting in the poor educational performance at schools. Such children are bound to suffer in the losing battle in international quality education. The big question is whether or not children still have a chance to get parental training at home in order to excel in their achievements.

The educators, scholars and child psychologists are of the opinion that there are ways by which parents can overcome the obstacles. And there are other factors as well why parents must involve themselves with the children. Children’s entire educational foundation is built at home where they spend the pre-school years exclusively with their parents. In this part of their life they learn to speak, walk and adjust with the circumstances. They see, and hear through the sense organs of their parents and exhibit what they have learned in the imitative behaviors they perform. Moreover, early impressions are retained in children throughout their life and contribute to their development and it is hard to change these impressions. "Early habits feel, in later life, just like instincts," writes Bertrand Russel in ‘Education’.

Researches have shown that even during their schooling, 85% of their time is spent at home. If this huge bulk of time is not properly utilized, compensation can’t be made up only with the 14% of time outside home. By nature, children are very curious to learn about the new objects and experiences they come across in everyday life. Their thirst for new knowledge is expressed in their inquisitive manners. They go to the parents with random questions expecting that they be answered. And, the answers to their questions provide them learning opportunities. So, parents must make use of such times. But, unfortunately, most of the time, children are harassed. Parents are generally irritated to answer or they overlook the kids’ inquiries. Either their questions are low esteemed or their abilities are misjudged. "If a child asks questions in general topics, it is good to answer them", stresses Russel, "unless the questions relate to difficult scientific matters, such as how electric light is made".

Children’s learning capacities are far higher than that of the adults. This is not understood by most of the parents. According to the researches made on the nature of brain development, it is proved that 80% development of the brain takes place by the age of eight, while a four year child will have his brain developed by 50%, and the rest 20% is complete by the age of eighteen. Why the children grasp things amazingly faster is the result of the rapid brain development at this stage.

Except for the self-acquired knowledge of daily work, children hardly get necessary inputs for starting a school. Though some parents understand that knowledge in not to be imposed upon the children they do not have proper alternatives with which children could grow. Instead of asking them to read, children should be exposed to the books, paintings, pictures and other useful materials so that learning at home grows automatically. Sadly enough, such tools are not usually brought home by the parents unless the children themselves ask them. To the contrary, parents do not hesitate to spend huge amounts of money in picnics, birthday celebrations and tours, but they shrink upon buying educational tools. The outcome is that children are sent to school empty minded. Once the child is admitted into a school they handover all educational responsibility to the schools. Parents meet the teachers with pin fingers and angry faces when the child is failed or punished. What are mostly sought are the good marks in the mark- sheets. Knowing this nature of the parents, teachers, sometimes, fall back to exam oriented teaching. This is an educational error. Dr Chudamani Bandhu says, "This behavior of the parents has brought an educational crisis".

Besides this, schoolteachers have to face innumerable difficulties if the children are sent to school empty. In addition to that parents do not show up at school even to pay the fees. "If they came to school at least once a month and spent some time with the teachers, it would make much difference", regrets the principal of Siddhartha Banasthali Institute, Mr. Laxman Raj Banshi. Parents expect that every bad habit of the children be corrected at schools. " If the child’s anticipations are confirmed and his view of life becomes set, it is increasingly difficult to change his picture of the world at school. Set characters can’t be changed overnight", stresses Mr. Raj Banshi.

Like wise, Mr. Lok Nath Upaddhaya of New Horizon Higher Secondary School, Butwal, stresses on the importance of the parents’ involvement in the students’ learning. He says, "Parents know children’s individual differences more than the teachers do. So the parents can provide appropriate insights on children’s natures to the teachers", but the problem, in his words, is that "very few parents pay purposeful visits to the school".

There are a great number of parents who take parental guidance in terms of course book training and distance themselves with the children. This is a prejudice. A proper guidance does not mean helping children with their homework. What children need is participation from their parents. The parents should be there to listen to the needs and problems. "If a parent is unable to answer the question it is necessary for the parents to encourage the child to find out the correct answer with the help of books or asking the seniors", says Nanda Dhital, lecturer in Child psychology at Tribhuvan University. "What children need is parents’ participation, love and encouragement. It is the environment that counts a lot," she suggests. Current board second student, Manoj Bhora, gives full credit to his parents for his success. "My parents were always with me, it is their inspiration which led me to success. My mother is an uneducated housewife and my father a busy engineer, but he always listened to my educational needs. My mother always asked me if my academic activities were going smoothly, she tried to convey my problems to my father when I myself was unable to trouble him.He bought me a set of World Book encyclopedia when I was in class six".

Common to rural societies, there is a wide tendency among Nepalese parents to take punishment as a very useful instrument of training. This kind of their behavior brings adverse effects on the later life of the children. They rather grow fearful, sometimes destructive and mostly dull. "Physical punishment is merely futile. It inflicts fear in children," states Bhava Nath Paudel, clinical psychologist at CVICT. According to him "Corporal punishment might result in children suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In such a state, children lose creativity. Mr. Paudel suggests that punishments like "time out" in which children are left alone to think and realize their mistakes would be fruitful. There should be an environment for the children to learn about the consequences so that they try to avoid errors themselves.

Regarding harsh treatment Dr. Bashu Dev Tripathi thinks that though in recent years, most of the urban parents have stopped beating children, they have not adopted the effective psychological methodsof dealing with the children.

The future of the children’s academic as well as other progresses is in the hands of the parents. If children do not get proper training at home where they spend most of their time, they can never make satisfactory progress in their educational career. Therefore, the most important stage in learning is childhood and the best school is home and the best teachers are parents. In his book "Child Development’, Don C.Dinkmeyer expresses a similar view. "Family is the single influence on the development of the child. Since the basic attitudes and habits formed in early years serve as instincts, parent education in early childhood must be given more attention".

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