Women in Nepal

By Binita Hada Maskey

Women are the symbol of love and they are the source of creation. When women give birth to her babies, as a mother, she has to suffer labour pain while giving birth to a child whether it is a boy or a girl. Besides this, she has to undergo tough job of caring, nursing, teaching and feeding until her child grows up. But men hardly feel it. Every man is hear on the earth just because his mother accepted all the pain and misery for him before and after birth. After suffering a lot and fighting from every deathful situation these people prefer to have baby boy no matter what on earth it is. The expectation and importance of the baby boy is very high than the baby girl.

In every field there is preference given to the boy. It is seen even in the rice feeding ceremony. People celebrate with much enthusiasm whereas daughter’s rice feeding ceremony is done in a very simple way.

Boys receive a sacred thread on the auspicious occasion called "Bratamandha" where people celebrate this function with great pomp. In that cermony boys are thought to be free and a girl reaching menarche undergoes the complete antithesis in the ritual of "sitting in a cave," isolated in a dark room for a period of two weeks called "Gupha". Girls are thought to bind in the boundaries of limitation. Coming-of-age rituals for the different sexes demonstrate the disparity.

This vividly underscores the danger of female sexuality and introduce issues of ritual pollution and untouchability, which will follow a women, the rest of her reproductive life. In orthodox Hindu families, menstruating women sleep outside and do not allow sitting in the bed and sofas. A small compensation for this indignity-though because they are considered ritually impure-they are not permitted to cook and there are restricted to attend many places and functions. Why every one is following it in these baseless things. It was okay for years and years ago but now women of this modern age know how to keep clean and be hygienic. Scientifically it is very pure and from that blood each human being is made off but who is going to convince them ?

I have seen parents who feel proud to say that they have a son since he carries over the ancestrial name and performs the essential death rituals that will allow his parents to enter the ancestral heavens. Believing in such superstition many couples may have seven or eight daughters in attempting to conceive a son.

In most cases, if a man was not able to have a baby boy he would have many wives as experimental basis. Where as Nepali women never think to have another husband for the sake of son. They will prepare to accept all the blame in herself even if it isnt her fault. Giving birth to a female baby is not the fault of women. This fact hasn't been accepted by many. According to the seed the plant is to grow. If there is a seed of mango, one should never expect an orange out of it. I am not blaming man for it either because it is not in his hand too. It will happen as the God blessing for each individual. Every one should accept this fact and should be happy and accept it as a gift from God thinking it is the symbol of love, which will bind your relationship firmly between husband and wife. Boys receive more and better food and they get good education in better school but there is less interest in girl’s future, as they have to go to their husband’s house one day. Boys have to go to school and only study and play whereas girls have to take all responsibility of house hold work cooking, washing, cleaning, taking care of younger sisters and brothers along with their studies.

Why is there bias between them when both are from their own blood. In most cases in the villages, girls get only primary education thinking they are not going to serve their parents at their old age. Education is not so important to them as they have to serve their house people and not them so they are barred from higher education. Instead of higher studies she has to learn how to cook and look after her house. The national female literacy rate is 25% less then half the rate for men.

Still there are houses where daughters-in-law are not allowed to go to offices. Inspite of them being educated they think they will not be able to manage their house and will not have enough time to serve as a servant as most of them are treated after marriage. If she becomes independent it will be little hard to dominate that women and she will get change to learn about the world and women’s freedom. But amazingly this particular house will be sending their daughters to offices.

Women also have big differences inthemselves. They themselves are biased with female counterparts. They think possessively for their daughter’s career and future but for daughter-in-law they have built a different thinking. It is seen that this daughter-in-law comes to a new house with all the good hopes and expectations that she will be loved and cared for as she was in her fathers home. But when she doesnt get all the things she will definitely be annoyed.

Nepal is one of two countries in the world where men outlive women. A rural woman’s restless round of hard work and poor nutrition exerts still more pressure. Similarly working lady’s of urban area are facing the same problem. Working ladies have to take all responsibility of household works, look after their children and also the official work. They will have lots of mental stress as well as physical too. She often waits for her husband to finish eating before she begins her meal; in food-scarce areas this means she seldom gets her fill.

A wife feels proud to say that I am taking fasting just because of my husband’s long life and his better life. We can see many wives being hospitalized durimg "Teej" just for the sake of their husbands but have you seen any sort of thing that husbands do for wives long life and betterment in our culture ? No it is male dominated society. They don’t have to do any thing to make their wife happiness. They will expect their wife to be happy and give 24 hours service to them no matter how difficult it will be for a single lady to manage all these things together. Men can go anywhere and do any thing without anybody’s concern but women are not allowed to do so. Even to visit her own parent’s home they have to take permission from her husband and also from his family members. There is a vast gap between them. Why it is here in Nepal ?

Married women belong to her husband’s family after marriage and think all the responsibility goes to husband. How many husbands realize her problem?" Kinship roles determine a woman’s life: her place lies squarely within the family, at home, symbolized byher family members. Every day a married woman should bow her head to her husband's feet and his senior family members too. To do any decision of her own life she has to seek permission from all the family members of her husband. When will she rise and do the things in her own decision without harming her family members ? A women’s most powerful role is as mother of a son and, later, as mother-in-law. Then she may freely dominate her son’s new bride as she herself was mistreated years ago. Being a women they should realized that women should have equal right and they should not be misbehaved by their in laws as she was treated years ago. Women make fewer decisions on the running of the household. This will come as no surprise to any observer of the Nepali countryside, where women haul water or bundles of fodder and fuel, train children, weed fields, wash clothes, grind corn, and winnow grain.

Rural men, meanwhile sit and eat and make arguements on different kinds of issues and order food. Activities they would no doubt define as "work" to a surve-taker. Men do work hard at times, ploughing in the spring and harvesting in the field but they have the leisure to pass time gossiping in teashops about agriculture, politics, playing card, drinking alcohol and Women, Meantime, are busy spending nearly all their time in or around their homes and fields, their social life limited to a brief chat at the water tap or the rare festival. Women are busy cleaning house and cooking varieties of food for whole family members and guest come to celebrate that festival. Inspite of all these women still are always in the family satisfaction. They trie to make everyone happy by just cooking and entertaining them. Men are busy eating, drinking, playing cards, inviting guest and dancing. Women work more than 11 hours, compared to eight and half-hours for the average man according to the research record. Not surprisingly, discrimination is embedded in Nepali law, a wife’s adultery automatic grounds for divorce, but not the reverse. A man may legally take a second wife if no children exist after 10 years of marriage, regardless of where the infertility lies. Here women tolerate all the sorrow that is given by her husband and his family.

Women gives all her life giving service and looking after her home but in return she is treated like a servant for that house or worse than that. Because her husband never thinks about her life. He is always busy in his daily routing gossiping unnecessary things with others, drinking alcohol, fighting with his wife and some times behaves like wild animal and beating his wife so cruelly as if he is going to kill her without committing any mistake from her side. How one human being behave like this because she is helpless or she is very weak and good. He has confident that she won’t live him whatever he does with her.

May be he thinks it is his home and he can misbehave because no one will come to help her and what ever he does his family will definitely be going to support him for his bad doings.

Instead of hating him that women loves him and forgives his every sin because women think that her husband meant everything to her and she respected him as God. She always cares and loves him and she will not even think about other alternate for it therefore she bears all the injustice and touchring. Hoping one day he will realize her true and pure love. When will he wake up and feel her devotion and love, it should not be too late.

In the latter especially, women belonging to Rai, Limbu, Sherpa enjoy a great deal of independence and respect. Like women share their works and also have equal right to have another husband as men can have in their society with respect to the situation. These women are respected by their society as well. In the Terai region there is a dowry system, which has been inherited from the Indian culture. This system should be totally eradicated. To be a rich person they will take benefit from his innocent wife to fulfill non-stopping demand for properties from her father's home. In case her family cannot not fulfill his requirement, they compell her to commit suicide by giving physical and mental torture. There should be strict law for such husband and a person involved in this matter so that no one can dare to do so in future. With a view to eliminate above mentioned social injustice done to the Nepalese women his Majesty’s Govt. of Nepal is going to take following commendable measures which are expected to be passed from the present session.

1) Women’s property rights bill from the present session and also formulate laws to end gender discrimination.

2) A national women’s Commission would be formed for the long-term progection and propagation of women’s rights and interest by ending all kinds of suppression/oppressions and violence against women under any pretext and to do away with evils like dowry.

3) To establish socio-economic and political rights of women, oppressed, ethnic and tribal people and to provide them special protection for education and employment opportunities.

There should be radical changes necessary to eliminate such anti-social element in Nepal. Nepal being under developed, has to work very hard for our country and we should realize the value of women’s contributions to it’s economic development. Now women play vital role in every aspect of development and they are also the backbone of the economy of our country; as in most this goes largely unnoticed. Women remain locked into a role of unending service and support, which is not evaluated by the society.

When will be the time comes for women independence ? They can live in her own way and get the freedom as man. Only lecture and marking law for them is not sufficient. It should be implemented in each field.

Society should give respect and preference to them. In every field women has already proved that they are not less than men for the progress and development of the country are. Not only small houses, they can even handle the whole country as they have reached to different planets of the universe. Women have run many industries, business. They are farmer, pilot, diver, scientist, lawyer, army, police, doctor, engineer, banker, professor, minister, prime minister etc. There are hardly any places where women have not reached and progressed. They are not very behind to men so one should be proud to have a girl as they are your future and valuable asset. We know that most of the houses in Nepal have improved alot but still in the villages we find such facts.

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