Nepalese in America

Most Nepalese in America do not feel that they belong here and yet America tries quite hard to make you feel at home, like a stepmother trying to win your love to impress your father, her husband.

Nuru LamaI

It is said that home is where the heart is but the heart is nowhere. You thought you could mix like sugar in water (just a little stir!) but are confronted by your awkward patchiness on the American landscape. The seeming multi-ethnic tapestry looks more and more like a forced hodgepodge. Is this the story of a migratory bird that when spring comes will fly back to its Himalayan nests or of some endangered species in search of a new home, a final escape from the threat of the nightly poachers and devouring carnivores in its own land?

For the thousands of Nepalese living in America today, Nepal is a bitter, sweet tale; a mother for whom you harbour both intense love and hate; a broken relationship for which feelings still linger. Being far from the people you know and the place that you call home is hard. Harder is to rationalize a life lived in a faraway land where you feel culturally estranged, politically insignificant and the strong undercurrents of a white capitalistic establishment rocking your dreamboat. This is a typical immigrant story, of hope and despair.

Even with the wretched poverty, political decadence and the insurgency in Nepal, somehow life in Nepal felt more rooted, laden with a richness of puranic-style sublime meanings. But the eulogies end there. Here in America hard work pays off, good education mostly leads to good careers and certainly the dollar goes a long way compared to the Nepali rupee. Most Nepalese in America do not feel that they belong here and yet America tries quite hard to make you feel at home, like a stepmother trying to win your love to impress your father, her husband. The American media is awash with talks of cultural diversity, religious freedom, and rights of immigrants (legal and illegal). Although post-September 11, there is a heightened sense of skepticism and fear of foreigners, this reaction can only be considered natural and one hopes transient.

American meritocracy may be more wishful thinking than reality but certainly opportunities do abound here. A successful immigrant maybe an exception rather than the norm but at least America gives you the hope. Hope, that very precious of human qualities, which sustains life and moves mountains, and so sorely lacking in our homeland. The sight of Chinese businessmen, Indian doctors and African American leaders is a constant reminder that you too can rise up the ranks in America. The American dream is a lovely self-infatuation, treading the borders between hubris and self-confidence. To draw from American literature, here the Emersonian individual takes the Frostian "road less travelled." Back home, Devakota’s Muna pleads Madan to not leave home for fear of wild animals and praises the satisfaction of "saga ra sisnu."

The Nepalese in America is a Nepali microcosm, from Mechi to Mahakali. There are Nepalese studying, and working in various professional fields but majorities perform the low-end menial tasks that only immigrants take. Thus, you will find Nepalese doing the ‘dirty’ work at the restaurants, grocery stores and construction sites, to name a few. America is the battleground for modern-day lahures, valor dollarized and measured in sweat quantities. Back home, ‘dirty’ work is considered demeaning and education is a way to not work. Karmachari’s are famous for their reckless work ethic. Hard labour may not be a pleasant way to teach respect for work and those who perform it but some things are best learnt the hard way. Nepali politicians should be put through this regimen to teach them some urgently needed lessons.

Occasionally, one can spot a second generation Nepali born and brought up in America. They too have their set of problems in acknowledging their uniqueness, their place in a world where most youths feel a little lost anyways. Are they Nepali Americans, American Nepali or Americans of Nepali origin or simply Americans? These permutations and combinations do not help much. The problem is not definitional, it is one of finding those aspects of you, your family and your social circle that you most identify with and enjoy.

We log onto the Internet and read of the Maoist killings, the royal carnage, the bandhs, and silently thank the gods for taking us far away from all that objectness, vainly wishing things would change for the better. Most Nepalese in America talk about returning to Nepal, one day. But a quick observation of the immigrant population in the US provides few stories of returns to the cherished homelands. For most, home, motherland is just a romantic longing, a party cliché, a framed, hazy Machhapuchhre in some living room corner. We talk of Nepali politics, dance to Nepali lokgits, relish dhalbhats and momos, but mostly it is just an attempt to come to terms with the reality of our uprootedness by regenerating here a piece of the past.

Many Nepalese in America talk of getting their education, saving a few dollars and going back to work for the public good - while a respectable thought, it is often a juvenile chivalry driven by Hollywood style "one-man-can-do-all" naivete or a colonial notion of teaching the natives or just an idealistic adventure to nourish the lost soul. Mostly, it is just talk. So, to redeem one’s own conscience, college students go back and intern at some big-name NGO for a few months, others send a $50 check to sponsor a child’s education and feel their responsibility completed. But, most do not even do this much. A few have gone back but for the safety of their family business or due to family pressures to return (babu, we don’t want you to just be a voice on the other end!).

Nepalese have a history of migration in search of economic opportunities, to Bhutan, Darjeeling, Assam and other parts of India. With time, as overseas countries developed and looked for cheaper labour, Nepalese have travelled to the East Asian countries, the Middle East and the West. At many of these places, we have suffered extreme physical abuse, humiliation, poor working conditions and sub-par wages. Despite the cruelty and the hardship, Nepalese are streaming out of the country at an ever-increasing rate, stark evidence of the destitution at home and of the enduring, industrious determination of the Nepalese. Barring the few rent-seeking gentries, disillusioned nationalists and indulgent state beneficiaries, ‘bidesine’ is today a common household topic of discussion, a fact of life, a real escape valve.

America is no kingdom of heaven. It is a hard struggle. But America has provided many Nepalese with opportunities for education, employment and experience of a world different than home. Of the Nepalese in America, a few may return home and some may actually return to make remarkable contributions to the country’s peace and prosperity. It will be a new beginning when the American dream is transposed to the Nepali landscape. Maybe then, no Nepali will want to leave home in search of foreign pastures. Whatever the case, living abroad is neither a betrayal of home nor a ‘superior’ form of living. Diasporic life is just another avenue to solve the equations of life, a rational choice to deal with the complexities of living in our times. Nepalese, whether in Nepal or abroad, should be equally cherished.

UNSHED TEARS

By Anjana Chalise

During a long journey towards their upliftment in this society in the form of mother, daughter, wife, a career lady, or a housewife, woman is found to be categorised into three forms; Spinster, married, or widow. Even in this 21st century in Nepal where widows are categorised as ill omen, there are steps coming up to upgrade their dignity, turning them resourceful or making them aware of their rights through various social works and awareness programs.

From the ancient era, it is well understood that women prefer to bear stress and have patience. It is their obligation to feel they have still not finished or done with their job and they do not desire to relax cutting off the activities they are currently carrying out. In spite of having a trouble in coping up between work and obligation, women are on their ways ahead in this 21st century. They are at times so engrossed in their activities that they do not even have subconscious mind. There are so many factors that have changed women.

Women used to feel they have no goals to fulfil and no agenda to stand up with any standpoint. But today women are ready to face the circumstances and are willing to be happy and carry on with the risk involved in reaching their destination.

There are women who knew long back what they wanted from their life and the reason for their setback but was unfair towards their own stands and opts. Women, today permit failure to teach them a lesson in life to achieve what they have lost. Overwhelmed by the fear of society they may become escapist. Marriage is a major decision of their lifetime, but it is their parents that decide how and when they are married. Daughter-in-laws are unable to find their equilibrium in the society even today. "Grass is greener on the other side" is to be realized by an individual himself. Until and unless an individual realizes this, no second person can bring any changes of ones perception. We still fail to accept that a person is an individual in their own rights in this huge world in spite of being bound into relationships. Each one has its own desire, options, limitations and responsibilities, for one kind of life that would give them a meaning of a human being. That is, at any case an individual needs to be accepted as an individual trying to live a normal and harmonious life as well. Even in this so-called modern world, woman still feels discriminated or cursed for being women. Woman still feels the need of the awareness in the society bound of conventional rules and cultural boundaries.

With shaven heads, widows are considered as ill omen, and restricted from wearing red clothes and eating non- vegetarian dishes. Though we are emphasising on feminism and women rights, we are still turning deaf ear and blind eye towards the matters of how widows are surviving. This is probably because it’s a very controversial matter even in today’s world to speak up. For this, awareness has to be generated from each family from home itself bringing out the changes in the negative attitude, religious and cultural concepts into practice.

A widow is not permitted to make herself or wear anything colourful or jewelleries. It is believed that she will look attractive and this will be considered as a sexual threat to a society. If a widow wants to re-marry, she forfeits not only her right to her husband’s property, she will be asked to leave behind her children to her deceased husband’s family. Widows are generally barred from taking part in marriages or any other auspicious functions. The crucial and heartbreaking trauma widows face today, is the question of support or shelter to them. Widows that are educated might approach the court. But in a country like Nepal where literacy rate is poor and awareness level is low, they do not dare to antogonise their family and continue to live in their existing situation. Widows are considered and taken as living being who are physically alive and socially dead.

Constricted with religious or negative attitudes or trouble of blames on them, which could be mental, psychological and at times physical lack of resources could upgrade their status. If they struggle and manage to come out of these consequences they may be behind due to insecurity of the fear of misuse by the society of their state.

Women today need to be aware of her legal rights for not preparing themselves but helping the ones in need, as a mother, friend, mother-in-laws, or daughter-n-laws.

Women, who prefer to live by compromising with her circumstances, are not to be shaken of their determination, as many are successful like that as well. But why are those who want to live as normal ladies, marginalized to their living? Let’s read the famous lines by Kamala Bhasin: You cannot stop the spring. You can crush all flowers of the garden verdant. But you cannot stop the advent of spring. You can stop thinking of my myriad bangles. But you cannot stop the tingling of my being. But my ringing laughter you cannot stop. Made in His image, I am his creation. You cannot stop my breathing, my life. Snatch from my lips both song and lyric. But you cannot stop the music of my soul. Cover me with ignominy, tear me with shame. But my inner radiance you cannot stop. A phoenix, I rise and soar from the ashes. You cannot stop my rising again and again I am no man’s shadow, no man’s mirror. My story, my version you cannot stop. Like Meera I am lake, wide and endless. My decent in the ocean you cannot stop. I am His part of His creation a fraction. These times will be mine you cannot stop. Therefore in order to provide each sufferers the better living in their own ways, our first step should be the introduction of the opportunities by economic empowerment of short term or vocational training, social empowerment through seminars and awareness programs in rural areas, educational or political empowerment to work at village levels spreading the achievements and sufferings about widows, legal empowerment by legal rights literacy an investigation and punishment for sexual harassment in work place. Last but not the least, we should give them a chance to survive and live as a human being.

Walks of Lives in walls of Everest

Vibrant spurts of tones exemplify the highest spark of light with yellow and the lowest extreme of darkness with purple & blue in the artist’s paintings. The works range from water to oil colours. Though his paintings share a lot from the Western or rather from the English background, the watercolour in its adolescent stage was widely practised in England, writes Saroj Bajracharya

The art market is quite dull these days, but in contrast the art activities are happening quite frequently than in the past within the valley. Local artists from the country and from abroad are introducing their art works continually. Amidst these entire art occurrences what one feels is a lack of sufficient art galleries & markets. Minimising the predicament, a trend of initiating art galleries has already begun, which conforms a positive alteration in the art scene. One such art gallery initiated about 4 years ago called Everest Contemporary Art Gallery introduced the latest artworks by Hareram Joju, an active artist, in "Joju’s Creations" on February 14th 2002.

The vibrant spurts of tones exemplify the highest sparks of light with yellow and the lowest extremes of darkness with purples & blues in the artist’s paintings. The works range from water to oil colours. Though his paintings share a lot from the Western or rather from the English background as watercolours in its adolescent stage was widely practised in England. Yet he displays his own way of creative presentation in colour handling techniques and idealistic idiosyncrasy. Supplementing these aesthetic consequences the artist has presented those small corridors, narrow belts of local villages and towns, and cityscapes, which are elegantly presented, in glittering and tattering effects by the artist. All these gives and takes and struggle of colours lead to a finished art works of Joju, now hung on the walls of Everest Contemporary Art Gallery at Arcadia building, till 28th Feb 2002.

The Gallery affirms - "we should know how the art Eco-system is working around the world, and innovate and at times adopt such creative ideas. So what we have tried to do here is to commence an auction on one of the best portrayed paintings by the artist." The Gallery further adds - "Art basically relies on experimentation & if we take every activity concerned with art with an experimental approach, to our belief that will definitely help." This new idea of auction in Nepal is certainly interesting as anything new is always interesting. How much heights of success will it achieve or depths of failure will it bare is yet to be seen. "We will be organising new art exhibitions quite frequently." states the gallery, showing a positive sign of stabilising the art market.

Art in the present time is not confirmed to the limit of ‘luxurious items’ and has been considered one of the ‘daily utilitarian ingredients’ and has landed into a more common realm of ordinary and simple mode of life style, because it has become apparent now that art originates from the expression of life and everybody expresses it. So perhaps this perspective takes us to a much wider assumption that art is a man’s nature and that’s exactly what artist Joju has tried to portray: walks of lives in the cityscapes.

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