-With malice to none-
Some valuable clues to recognize Nepali politicians!

Politicians from the world could do well if they drop in Kathmandu for a week or so to sharpen their political intellect to what they possess. This would provide them with so many opportunities. Besides viewing Mount Everest, they can learn about so many wonders that perhaps we only possess. However, the tourists or for that matter the incoming politicians would have to bear with the Kathmandu’s heavy traffic congestion and little bit of garbage pollution. As for season for visiting this wonderland, the guests could come any time of the year because the fun in Kathmandu never ends. At least I think so. This is my personal experience of my three decades in this surprising capital city of Nepal.

Regarding the pocket money one is supposed to bring in let me tell you that since our currency is practically weightless in the monetary sense so what ever one brings here will definitely be sufficient for him or her.

While writing this I’m reminded of a very cruel joke regarding the strength of our currency. At a dinner some ten years back, a very close relative of mine had advised me to say NAMASTE for some forty two times if some American citizen happened to meet me and shook his hands with me. I was surprised by my friend’s explanation and asked him to clarify his mysterious observation. He said, look Mr. Upadhyaya, since the conversion rate of our money vis-à-vis the American dollar stands at 42 at this time, so while greeting the Americas we must sincerely perform the same act for forty two times. Since long I’ve not met that friend or else he would have advised me to greet the US citizens some seventy-four time as against their single compliment. Consider what the Americans would think of the Nepalese if we all acted on the advice of my relative-friend. Unimaginable indeed. However, the fact is that it is this big difference in our conversion rate that most of the Nepali youth would love to make their way to the real wonderland. In the process, many have left Nepal for good.

Now coming back to our main topic of the Nepali politicians from whom the incoming tourists can learn much, what is advised to them is not to panic on how to trace who was a Nepali politician or not? This is very simple.

# Any typically clad Nepali man who is found at the Pharmaceutical shops asking FORTRUMS and its overly inflated bills is Nepali politician.

# A guy who is talking about the arrangement of pensions after parliamentary membership retirement is definitely a Nepali politician.

# A person who exhibits his or her allegiance to two contending political personalities concurrently is surely a Nepali politician.

# A person who suddenly becomes "ill" at time of voting in the parliament and is traced at the Tribhuvan International Airport to catch the TG flight to Bangkok is undoubtedly our politician.

# A person who exceeds his functions and makes his illegal entrance into the house of a married women and assaults her under the spell of alcohol could be a Nepali politician.

# A rag-bag-bobby-tail of the recent past having a Pejero/Prado vehicle is hundred percent a Nepali politician.

# A person who can talk on any topic on earth is our man in politics. Educational requirements are not necessary for him. He can teach the Nepalese for he is having the authority to teach simply because he is a politician.

# A person or a group of persons who could be located in the parliament in deep slumber or even snoring is our man. He is a Nepali politician.

# A group of persons who converge on the agenda for the "increment" in their perks, were definitely our men that are Nepali politicians.

# A person who is never seen in his constituency after winning the elections and prefers to remain in the capital is a Nepali politician.

# A person who promises a lot and does little is definitely is a Nepali politician.

# A person who could change his allegiance any time from one to another is our man. He is a Nepali politician.

# A person who is found indulged in acts of all sorts of corruption could be our politician.

# A person who talks against corruption but is himself a corrupt could be our man in politics.

# A person who is seen loitering around RNAC and talking in favor of bringing in yet another Boeing Jet for the country could be a Nepali politician.

A person who dilly-dally’s the commencement of the meeting where he is the chief guest and waits anxiously the arrival of the NTV crew members at the venue is a Nepali politician.

The list could be stretched to any length. To describe the qualities of our politicians is undoubtedly a Himalayan venture. However, the incoming political men would benefit if they could copy even half of the qualities found in our political creatures.

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