With malice to none
Whose ‘agents’ could be the aircraft hitting vultures?

Place: Cabinet hall, Singh Durbar
Time: Afternoon
Date: September last week/ October first week
Agenda: Birds attacking aircraft
Meeting type : Emergency

On the scheduled time, the Prime Minister enters the meeting hall. All the cabinet members greet the Premier. The Prime minister takes his prestigious seat. Upon assuming the seat he suddenly becomes serious. He then speaks of the purpose of the meeting.

PM: Well, dear friends, I thank you all for your prompt response to this meeting which, I suppose, is of national importance. I believe that some forces on earth are hell bent on "destabilizing my government and thenceforth the democratic system". Some reactionary forces in collusion with some of our own party-men appear to threaten the system and break our party. I suspect that some "international forces" too have joined hands in this process. I have always said that without congress rule there would be no democracy and vice versa. So let us all unite in thwarting the designs of the renegades who have applied a strange trick to overthrow this system.

One minister sitting left to the PM: Sorry for the interruption Mr. Prime minister. Could you divulge the strange trick that our declared enemies have devised against us?

PM: Very good question indeed. I did not know that you were so intelligent. Keep it up. I’m happy to tell you all that our enemies have "deployed" birds of all sorts, more precisely speaking the non-vegetarian vultures and crows to create terror and havoc in the country through attacking incoming and outgoing international flights. In the process the nasty birds have already hit some of the national and international airlines as well. This has created a sense of horror in friendly countries. They have already threatened to suspend their Kathmandu flights sine die. If they do so then it would damage the hard-earned prestige of this nation.

Minister sitting right to the PM: Mr. Prime Minister, I think the birds could have been sent by the Maoists’ in their fresh bid to malign our "growing prestige". It should be the brain of Dr. Baburam Bhattarai. He is an engineer of repute and I’m told he is excessively intelligent.

Third minister: This sounds incredible. But I do not suspect it to be the acts of the Maoists. How could the birds sent by the Maoists hit the airliner- South West China Airlines- of the country where Mao was born and steered the nation for decades and decades. More so Comrade Mao had excellent relations with Nepal. He liked our monarch very much. In my opinion, it should be the act of some other "agencies" inimical to the ruling Nepali congress.

Finance minister: Well I’ve nothing to comment in this regard. However, I’m ready to manage money to curb the menace. Money would be no problem. I’m at your back. Since I’m defense minister as well, so it is a part of my new duty.

Home minister: My intelligence bureau is in a sheer dilemma. They are yet to ascertain the main suspect. Whether this act has its origin in Nepal or abroad will take some more time to ascertain.

Defense minister: Till the time police does not ascertain the real culprit, let us allow the airlines Captains through a cabinet decision that they could keep powerful guns with them and could shoot the approaching birds by opening the glass window in their front for a while. For the guns, let us talk to Mrs. Tom-Dick-Harry who could give us good commission. Excellent opportunity to grab commission. Thanks the bird menace.

PM: What a splendid and brilliant idea. I think he is right. For the time being, we can think on these lines.

Cabinet Secretary: I too have a suggestion Mr. Prime Minister. My humble suggestion would be to allow the Nepali hunters to continue their jobs what has been given to them by the establishment. Or else, we can ask for support from the European Union or from the Marlboro country. They will readily send their number one hunters for our rescue. When it is the question for the survival of a nascent democracy, they would surely come to our rescue.

Civil aviation minister: I suspect Mr. Prime minister the hands of Osama Bin Laden and Dawood Ibrahim as they are against the spread of Hinduism. They are Muslims and we are the single Hindu nation in the world. I see it to be a war of religion. The birds must have come from Afghanistan.

Minister without portfolio: Well Mr. Premier I differ with what my august friend told just now. If it were a war based on religion, then our enemies would have sent the birds to Delhi as Hindu fundamentalist BJP is ruling India. It is simply ridiculous. For Osama Bin Laden, Delhi is close as far as distance is concerned. Why he should come to Nepal when Delhi is closer to him.

Foreign minister: I beg to differ with the previous comments. I suspect the act to have been engineered by the Bhutanese regime. It could be guessed that since we do not enjoy good terms with them, they might have seduced some special sort of birds to create problems in Nepal so that the government in Kathmandu has no time for dialogues with their regime pertaining to the refugees.

PM: What you mean to say? Elaborate it. Mind it, India will take your charges against Bhutan in a different manner. This I could feel when I was in Delhi last month. Regarding bilateral ties, one should be very cautious, you see! Still, go on.

Foreign minister: I wish to travel to Europe and America and convince the governments there that look how the Bhutanese regime is harassing Nepal through the use of notorious birds. If you order me Sir! I can manage statements from responsible democracies against Bhutan.

(Silence persists for about a minute and every body in the hall admires the brain of the Foreign minister. In the meantime some light snacks is served.)

PM: Yes, permission is granted. However, talk to some European governments for extending an invitation for my trip to those countries. It has been long that I’ve not been to Europe. I want to take rest during the winter.

FM: That I’ll do. It would not be like the Chinese. I told them to invite you, but instead they preferred H.M. King Birendra to be their official guest. I miserably failed on this count. India is always comfortable for us. They are simply great. We must have very cordial ties with them come what may.

One minister sitting adjacent to FM: I suspect the hands of the RAW and the ISI in attacking the aircraft by the birds. It is surprising that the two opposite agencies have joined hands in damaging our national prestige. Thanks the Almighty that they are together. A rare event indeed.

A minister close to the previous one: Incredible. It is ad nauseating. How could the RAW and the ISI be together. My friend is just talking nonsense. Till Kashmir issue is there, these two agencies can never cooperate each other. Considering the close links of Nepal and some of our leaders with both of the agencies at the very private levels, it is unimaginable to think that they jointly could have done this.

PM: Thank you all. Such meetings contribute to send signals to our common enemies that we are united. Let us try to expose the nasty elements that could be behind all these conspiracies. I will take care of Deuba and Bhattarai myself. You all take care of others. If need arose, I will talk to friendly governments for sending their military hunters to kill the agents posted at our airport in Kathmandu. Till the next meet, bye.

(The meeting concludes. The man who served tea and snacks was found whispering in the ears of the Cabinet secretary. He was heard saying that, " it is our own fault sir! We have dumped the Kathmandu waste in the periphery of the airport. The non-veg items have attracted the vultures, falcons and the likes. Why should the Maoists, the RAW, the ISI and Bhutan come to destabilize the government? It is our own fault sir! Let us admit our blunders).

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