2nd Impression The Telegraph

2nd SECOND IMPRESSION

Nepalese people observe various cultural occasions, which perhaps goes round the year. In effect, Nepal is a land of festivals and only festivals. Festivals have become a part of our lives. While the common poor men take solace from the festivals, the leaders extract it from corrupt practices. Acts of corruption come as a festival for the men involved in that affair. Some say that the World Corruption Index does not contain the name of this country only because the researchers themselves felt ashamed looking at the extent and the level of LAUDA corruption. For your information, the word LAUDA has become a trademark in Nepal that denotes an act(s) corruption of an unimaginable or Mount Everest extent. By the same token, if a problem is big, name it LAUDA problem. Similarly, if an issue is of LAUDA dimension, you can call it LAUDA issue and so on and so forth.

However, since my colleagues are busy in preparing GAIJATRA publication to entertain their valued readers this week, I also wish to entertain my readers with this GAIJATRE dialogue which is as follows.

# A sort of emergency meeting has been called by the Prime Minister. Participants are all the political dignitaries including Mara Dal and Bhat. Men in uniforms are also present. The PM initiates the proceedings.

PM: Well, gentlemen! Today we have gathered here to find out the real killer of King Birendra and his entire family. The floor is open and now you are free to speak your minds. It is Gaijatra day any way. Proceed.

Houdel: There should be no discussion now on who was the killer. I told the "friendly international media" that it was Crown Prince Dipendra. When I told, it is told. Juddhe le bolyo bolyo! No discussion please on a topic which is tentatively close.

Foreign Minister: It was really difficult for me to answer the volley of questions from the leaders of various friendly countries on why they were not allowed to enter Nepal to pay their last respects to the late King. Thanks God that I told them that I knew nothing about the killing and thus could save my face. The residential Ambassadors too had the same complaints. Oh! It was terrible affair. I do not know how UNDP man Karcher could sneak into the Chauni hospital. Some body told me that one Egyptian diplomat also made his way there. Surprising indeed.

PM: Thanks the Almighty that I could at least inform the PM of a neighboring country the moment I heard of this sad event. My counterpart has thanked me and has told me to remain in constant contact with him. I did my duty well. Now next man proceed!

Mr. X: Well, it is simply fruitless and useless to talk on a matter that has been already shelved. It is simply waste of time. However, I tell you the truth. I know who killed King Birendra and his entire family.

(The men in the room suddenly got electrified. A sort of asphyxia grips the entire men attending the meeting. Orderly were ordered to bring in Oxygen cylinders so that any untoward incidents could be averted. Some felt that this man's declaration might reopen the issue from the very beginning and initiate penal actions against the real killer. Others concluded that since it has already been long of the killing incident and hence the man's revealing even the killer would make little difference to the nation and its ongoing politics. The rest just waited eagerly to listen to the name of the real killer from Mr. X. Some chicken hearted persons could well be seen using oxygen masks for obvious reasons).

One participant: Yes MR. X please tell who killed our beloved King? We will kill him. Tit for tat measure must prevail.

Another participant: Yes we will kill him and send to prison. If you kill my cat, I will kill your rat. That would be a befitting penalty for the killer.

Third participant: I would suggest that the killer be sent to The Hague Tribunal which will take proper care of the real killer.

Fourth participant: No we will invite killers of international repute from friendly countries and tell them to manage the killer's killing much the same way as they did with Nepali MP Mirza Dilshad Beg.

Fifth participant: Do not take time. Divulge the name of the killer. I am getting impatient.

Mr. X is in a very relaxed mood: Take it easy friends. Do not panic. The killer is the pistol. The killer is the rifle. The killer is the Stein-gun. The killer is the bullet inside these killing machines. The "killers" collectively killed King Birendra and his family. The sound I heard was R..R..R..TTTTTTTT and V...V…V…TTTTTTTT prior to the killing. My humble submission would be to the Nepali courts to serve capital punishments on the merciless killers. I would suggest the government a stringent penal action against these killers and that too before this Gaijatra festival comes to an end.

PM: What you suggest Mr. X ?

Mr. X: Keep them inside a dark chamber until they all die of asphyxia. That would be a death that would remind the killer-machines of the LAUDA dimension of their criminal act. Let them understand the Hitler's gas-hole chamber's torture and the subsequent deaths of the poor Poles and other eastern Europeans. That's all Mr. Premier.

The participants took a sigh of relief and appreciated Mr. X for his all-puzzling bizarre disclosure. They consider it to be the appropriate time to rush towards their respective homes to disclose Mr. X's "highly sensitive and inflammable" findings to their female folks. The men inside the room came out extremely pleased as was evident from their faces for they could now recognize the real killer, which the probe committee miserably failed.

Rumors are afloat that Nepal's Mr. X could well be appreciated by world's leading intelligence agencies for his brilliant disclosure. Some friendly governments' have already approached Nepal's Premier to make Mr. X available for them. Mr. X could be our foreign currency earner for the time being. Thank you Mr. X for your highly intelligent cum dangerous revelations.