-With malice to none-
Nepal's new formula to do away with poor and poverty

Place: Baluatar
Meeting: Congress working committee
Time: 8.30 AM
Agenda: Poverty alleviation
Chief Guest: Number one poor of the country
Main speaker: Party President

On time all the congress party members arrive and salute in a half parallel manner the newly elected President. Some have brought with them flower bouquets to influence the President for obvious reasons. The party president reciprocates but warns the members not to expect much from him. The mood of the president is apparently not that fresh as it should have been on such occasions.

President: Well gentlemen! I congratulate you all who have been elected this round for party working committee. I'm happy to note that most of my close friends have won the election despite the hullabaloo created by my detractors at time of the election. It gives me great pleasure to announce you that I have nominated more of my friends (relatives) in the committee to face any untoward events in the future. I totally rely on you all, elected and nominated both, and hope that you all will look to my cause at time of crisis that is following me in series of late. I'm practically disturbed by US diplomat's comment made regarding the state of the governance in the country. It took pretty long to me to regain the mood with which I had entered the envoy's compound.

However, today's topic is how to reduce poverty from Nepal. As you know that our Pokhara meet has decided to bring the poverty level down to 15 percent, so I wish that you come up with your valuable suggestions on how to achieve that targeted limit within five years. Now the floor is open.

CC member left to the president: Allow me Mr. President to speak a few words. Since the topic is very timely and the situation very chaotic, I'd suggest the Nepali planners to invite Mohammad Younous from B'desh. I'm told that Younous has achieved miracles through his Grameen Bank formula.

Member sitting right to President: I disagree with the idea of the previous speaker Mr. President. Why should we invite a foreign national when we ourselves possess "paper tigers" at the planning commission. We must try with our own experts who have obtained themselves from number one universities of the world.

Member sitting opposite to President: Mr. President, we committed a blunder. We should have set the target level at least at thirty percent. An abrupt 15 percent would mean that we were speaking a lie even if we achieved that. We must correct our blunder at the first place.

Number one poor: Well, before I offer you my suggestion, I wish that some snacks be given to me as I have not seen meals since couple of weeks. (Snacks are ordered and the poor man thanks the entire group for the kindness exhibited towards him).

It would be advisable Mr. President to constitute a "high level commission" to ascertain the numbers of the poor people in the country. I suspect that some rich persons too have joined my ranks to show that they were poor in essence. As is normal in Nepal, a commission be brought in to force and allowed three months of time to submit its report. To remain secure about the honesty and the dedication of the commission, let us form yet another commission, which will monitor the activities of the previous commission. In my opinion, if the commissions are formed, the poor people become suddenly happy and as a practice they hope that the findings of the commission goes surely in their favor. However, the fact is that such commissions are formed to divert the attention of the lay men from the burning issues. I too used to believe in such gimmicks. However, I now understand the nitty-gritty's of the commissions because some of my "brethren" in the cabinet told me about the ….commissions.

Newly nominated member: My opinion would be to set ablaze the huts and the thatched houses of the people belonging under this category. This could be done by ordering the police. They can easily do this much the same manner they did with the houses of the KAMAIYAS only the other day. Or else we can ask the kind support of some villains of the Indian films. They have expertise in accomplishing such fire plays.

Another nominated member: My suggestion is quite different from others. However, I agree with the statements made by the previous speaker. In addition to that we can devise some lucrative schemes for the poor and can invite them all to come to Kathmandu open theater at Tundikhel. Upon their arrival in Kathmandu, we will line them up in 75 rows. The number 75 will mean that all the poor men from seventy five districts have come to attend the ceremony and were already lined up in the rows allotted for those separate districts. Finally we will manage the gelatin-dynamite kept under the earth to explode. That will take care of our problem. No poor, no poverty.

President: Stop it! None sense. How come you dare to tell such horrifying mechanism to reduce poverty. I reject your ideas on humanitarian grounds. It would be like the Pinochet affair and look the old man is being penalised for his past genocide in Chile. Mind it that same treatment could be meted out to us!

Member looking after the cabinet: I have one suggestion Mr. President.

President: Proceed without fear.

Member: Why not we invite the poor and the poverty stricken lot on alphabetical orders from districts and seduce them to be in the Cabinet. Let them act like ministers for three months each and look the charismatic change within those three months. The rag-bag-bobby-tail of the recent past will now talk of Pajero and posh buildings. But the poor men belonging to Morang district should get the priority in the first cabinet. This will give us an idea as to how fast the poor turned ministers from that district manage their self-development. Some times the alphabetical order could be neglected. After all the rules are made to break which we have done at times of crises.

President: Brilliant idea indeed. So it is decided that from now onwards you all will start compiling the list of the poor men in your districts. I must get the names of those destitute before this proposed cabinet reshuffle. I wish to go in for an experiment. The developed West would perhaps appreciate our new formula. May be my name will be forwarded for prestigious Nobel Peace Prize. Ha! Ha! The talk of Gelatin-Dynamite and Alfred Nobel. What a coincidence.

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