With malice to none
Nation's Prime Minister seeks my wise suggestions!

I had just returned from my morning walk and entered the room. My better-half came panting and told me Congrats! Upadhyaya. I was taken aback because it was the first time in our entire being together for 28 year plus that my wife had congratulated me for she was yet to divulge.

I asked what was the reasons behind her exhibiting pleasant mood after a gap of almost a decade plus.

She then said that she just received a call from the PMO. The man at the PMO told her to send me to the PM's office at the earliest as the Prime Minister wished to have a working break-fast with me.

It was a hair-raising telephone call indeed. I started dressing up and in the process I forgot to wear the usual full-pant and instead proceeded towards the Prime Minister's residence in half-pant.

The men at the gate were duly informed about my arrival and hence had no difficulty in entering the room where the PM was anxiously waiting for my arrival.

I saluted the PM and thanked him for this rare gesture. In effect this was the first and perhaps the last time that any sitting prime minister had sought my presence in his room and that too exclusively.

After exchange of pleasantries, the PM showed me my seat which was very close to him. I thought that the PM wished to whisper in my ear and hence thought that the talks between him and myself should be of Himalayan nature.

PM: I thank you Mr. Upadhyaya for your prompt response. And sorry for the trouble I gave you this early morning.

Upadhyaya: It's OK Mr. Prime Minister. I thank you very much for this opportunity indeed.

PM: But I see you having rushed to see me in half-pants? You look in this dress like a good-young old man!

Upadhyaya: I'm sorry sir! Take it easy while I am here. Will you instead tell me the reason as to why you summoned me in haste?

PM: Well! You know that the SC's decision has gone in my favor. This meant that Koirala must have fallen flat. Now tell me what should I do to conduct free and fair elections?

Upadhyaya: Which election?

PM: The November elections!

Upadhyaya: I guess Mr. Prime Minister the elections will not be possible on that date!

PM: You speaking Koirala language?

Upadhyaya: No sir! It is my prediction.

PM: What is the basis for your prediction?

Upadhyaya: The Opposition appear reluctant in facing up the challenge. Secondly, the security situation is constantly going down. Panic prevails there. No politician wishes to enter into their own constituencies. Others claim, more so Koirala and his camp, that it would not happen and if it happens then it would be a Musarraf type. Thirdly, the Maoists have already threatened that they will disturb the polls if you do not initiate talks with them. All put together I predict that you can't conduct the elections.

PM: I like your guess-works. But one thing that is worrying me is the German Ambassador's interview in which he says that the elections were not that necessary at this juncture.

Upadhyaya: But then it has already been declared?

PM: But then yet I must consider his remarks as he must be representing the entire EU countries' view when he says so.

Upadhyaya: Forget that. Interview is interview. People read it and forget.

PM: Now then tell me what should I do with the Maoists?

Upadhyaya: You must begin talks with them so that your rival Koirala does not get a chance to come closer to Prachanda. I guess he met him in Delhi through the kind courtesy of George Fernandez.

PM: Who is this George?

Upadhyaya: He is the one who was clandestinely sent to Tibet during 1994 when Girija Koirala was the nation's PM. It is he who managed this meeting in NOIDA, Delhi. It is time that you initiate dialogues with Prachanda and convince him to fight the elections.

PM: But will he agree to the talks? Will he take part in the elections?

Upadhyaya: Why not. Prachanda's fresh statement of 10 August hints that he too wished talks. If you don't initiate talks then he might disturb the elections. If you convince the insurgents and allow some concessions, they will definitely take part in the elections.

PM: What is the benefit? Will the talks with them and theirs taking part in the elections benefit me and my new party politically?

Upadhyaya: Hundred percent. You will have several distinct benefits. Firstly, the national and the international community will take it as a very positive step. Secondly, if you initiate talks with them, they will then begin keeping Koirala and his men at a distance. Thirdly, this will reduce the chances of the elections being threatened by the insurgents. Fourthly, the insurgents might fight the elections without giving the impression that they were taking part in it. Fifthly, if they do so will mean that their candidates will be cutting the votes of the UML in the villages and the districts. And mind it Mr. PM, the UML if left unchallenged this round of elections might form their own single party government at the center.

PM: But how they will cut the votes of the UML?

Upadhyaya: Haven't you marked their speeches? They have been all along saying that the Maoists issue will be solved when they come to power. This means that they do not wish the your talks with the Maoists. For they know that if there is a talk, you might invite them for elections which they can't deny provided you provide some tangible concessions. This again means that should they fight the elections, this they will do at the costs of the UML vote banks. The UML is a very clever lot.

PM: How could you conclude that the UML is a clever lot?

Upadhyaya: Jesus Christ! Did not you hear of the Photo episode?

PM: What was that?

Upadhyaya: The photographs of Marx and Lenin were missing all along Ambassador Malinowski was seated in their office last fortnight. When the Ambassador left their office, the missing photographs of those two great political thinkers suddenly appeared.

PM: What a shrewd politicians indeed.

(In the meantime Coffee is served. Suddenly a big Labrador dog appeared before me. I panicked out of fear. In the process the cup with the hot Coffee spilled over my half-pant. I cried and cried out of severe pain. Out of terrible pain in my loins, I was throwing the pillows here and there. Listening to my cry mixed with panic, my wife began crying Upadhyaya! Upadhyaya! What's wrong with you? Please wake up! It's time for your morning walk. Have your first cup of bed-tea.

(All that was left with me was the recollection of the pleasant dream. These days I am dreaming too much. May be it is a sign of Low Pressure or even it could be the beginning of Diabetes symptons. This means that my days of being invited by personalities like the nation's prime minister were coming to a close!)

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