With malice to none
Will you Mr. Prime Minister induct me in your cabinet?

Looking at the random figure(s) and the personalities picked up in the Lokendra Bahadur Chand Cabinet, any sane person would wish he or she to be inducted in the said cabinet.

Since October last, my friends have been telling me that I too possessed all the qualities that were required for a minister. Friends have been tempting me to use my own secret channels and try my luck in order to secure a post in the yet to be expanded cabinet. I am told that Prime Minister Chand is thinking to induct a few dozens of more "clean" faces in his cabinet so that the cabinet members could reach each and every people and ask about their problems and grievances which the previous "democratic" governments either neglected or found no time to redress their pressing issues.

If luck sided with me then I would wish to become a minister who is entrusted to "mediate" in between the "caretaker" government and the "Maoists".

The fact is that I have ever remained an energetic person and wished to perform adventurous jobs. The fact is also that I have never been trusted by my own close friends and foes alike. They always took me very lightly for unknown reasons. In effect I am a very reasonable person and ever remained clean. It is an altogether different matter that I preferred to play in mud when I was myself a kid. Thanks my mother that she forced me to take cold-water bath and made me every time clean. Perhaps my mother knew in advance that a time will come in the life of her "naughty" son who because of this cleanliness would finally become a minister in Mr. "Clean's" cabinet. This is my presumption that the mothers' of all the ministers housed in the Chand's cabinet might have done the same to keep their sons clean only to be inducted in the present cabinet led by Lokendra Bahadur Chand. Just consider how clever are Nepali moms!

It is my personal analysis that Prime Minister Chand's mother might have forced her son to take cold-water bath with a brand toilet soap ten times a day. This she could have done to keep her son clean and clean only. Who knew that Chand's mother was a bit sort of an astrologer who concluded in advance that if she kept her son clean would not only make her son to become prime minister of this nation thrice but would also be dubbed as "Mr. Clean" by his friends and foes alike.

I am not sure whether I would be made a minister but what is for sure is that from today onwards I will myself take the necessary initiatives to keep my kids clean who are now grown up like a host of the ministers housed in this cabinet.

Regarding my clean credentials, I have never been interrogated by the authorities at the most "infamous" CIAA. Similarly, I never worked in the Tourism ministry or for that matter in the Civil Aviation, and hence my name being dragged in the case of Lauda or for that matter the Dhamija case is simply remote. Neither I wished to join the revenue department of the HMG/N nor I was seduced to join the foreign ministry. This way I kept myself at a comfortable distance from the acts of corruption. To add to this, I never wished to become a politician for I knew that once I jumped into this profession, my party leaders would offer me a ministerial post and would tell me to deposit sixty percent of my illegal earnings either at the party office or to the party boss.

In the process I also refrained from entering into teaching profession simply because I knew that teachers more or less act like political parties' stooges which ruins the careers of the students.

All put together, I hereby claim that I am one of the most serious person in the Nepali soil and hence urge the prime minister to induct me in his "'non-performing"' government.

Will you Mr. Prime Minister oblige me?

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