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telelogo4.jpg (7056 bytes)   Kathmandu,Wednesday, 06 February 2002

S E C O N D   I M P R E S S I O N


With malice to none
High level commission formed to monitor the activities of previous commissions!

It so happened that the cabinet ministers were summoned by the PMO and were ordered to converge at the Prime Ministers' residence at the earliest. The ministers were stunned and began thinking as to what could be the reason that made the Prime Minister to summon them all. Nevertheless, the ministers gathered at the Prime Minister's residence in Baluatar.

The Prime Minister enters the conference hall and is being greeted by his cabinet colleagues.

PM: Well friends! I thank you all for your prompt response to my call. In fact after the conclusion of the SAARC Summit I wished you all to see but then Colin Powell's visit did not allow me to do so. Thanks the Almighty that we are meeting now. This meeting is agenda free and hence you are expected to ventilate your feelings in a free and frank manner. But before I give the floor to you I wish to relate you my secret talks with Colin Powell to you. This is how the talks began:

Colin: Mr. Prime Minister! I'm told that your last name literally means that you are sinking? Is it that you are sinking, politically speaking?

Prime Minister: No Mr. Powell. I'm not that as you have been given to understand. You have pronounced me wrong. Please correct it.

Powell: But some one from your rival camp told me that you are really a sinking lot?

PM: Look! My detractors have become addicts to the chairs. As and when they are out of chairs, they cry foul.

Powell: Well we have drug addicts in our country. I had never heard of chair-addicts.

PM: You do not know the Nepalese politics. It has ever remained a conspiratorial one. My rivals have simply fallen flat for I succeeded in inviting you at this critical period. More so I could be able to host the SAARC Summit.

Powell: Is it that Bajpayee and Musarraf talked with each other while being in Kathmandu?

PM: Shhhh!Shhhh!Shhhh! Keep it a secret. They talked for good fifteen minutes in private.

Powell: They why is this fuss!

PM: For public consumption indeed.

Powell: Is it that?

PM : Hundred percent.

In the process I also briefed Colin as to how my previous administration was made to collapse. He admired my courage in bouncing back to power second time. Now I think that Powell fully understands as to who I the real villain.

Now you are free to ventilate your feelings. Proceed.

Minister A: Well Mr. Prime Minister! I am in a problem. One of my nearest and dearest relative was rejected for a lucrative post in a project.

PM: Constitute and inquiry commission and find out who played the villain. That's it.

Minister B: Respected Prime Minister! Some unknown viral disease is causing panic in my district. My voters have told me that things have gone out of control there. Add to this the doctors posted there reportedly do not attend the hospitals there. Please help me!

PM: Constitute an inquiry commission which will find out as to which inimical force on earth could send such dangerous virus to your districts. Regarding the doctors not attending the hospitals let there be yet another commission, which would submit the details. This commission must tell me within five days the root cause as to why the doctors prefer Kathmandu only!

Minister C: Honorable Prime Minister! I have become the targets of the media men. They allege that I have amassed wealth illegally. Some partymen apparently were siding with the media men in assassinating my character. Please help me

PM: Constitute another commission, which will determine the names of the mediamen who were chasing you. This commission will also be told to ascertain the party men who were behind this ugly move.

Minister D: Mr. Prime Minister, my problem is that the Commercial banks have told me that I will not be allowed to draw further amounts from them simply because I have yet to pay the previous amounts. They say that I have been blacklisted!

PM: One more commission is needed here in this special case. Let this commission find out who is the man who told our friend that he would be denied further loans. This commission should be told to ascertain the political loyalty of the Chief of the Bank itself.

Minister E: Dear Sir! One of my relatives is a bureaucrat who unfortunately got employment by submitting fake educational certificates. He is in problem. He might lose his job.

PM: I understand your problem. It is grave one indeed. However, let one more commission be in place in order to verify the men who were involved in checking the certificates. The commission must also inform me as to who were the men behind the curtain who were hell bent on damaging the prestige of my friend's relative. Take it easy. Your job would be done.

Minister F: I have a different sort of problem. My problem is that my wife these days dreams of funny things. In effect she dreams that she has suddenly become a multi-millionaire. What to do with this notorious problem?

PM: Let one more commission come into existence. This commission will henceforth censor the dreams. However, the commission's activities will be limited to censor only the dreams of the wives of the cabinet ministers. The common lay men are free to dream any thing under their quilt. But then mind it that unnecessary and unfulfilled dreams cause immense damage to the national exchequer. Tell your wife not to dream such improbable things.

Before the next minister could push his problem, the Prime Minister gets a very important call from some very important place and becomes pretty nervous and restive too. He then declares the meeting to have come to an end. He however, orders the Cabinet secretary to form yet another commission to monitor the activities of the previous commissions.

We have been told that there is the chance of yet another high level commission to be formed to evaluate the functioning of the previous commissions. This time the commission is to be headed by a minister who is in the cabinet but not awarded any portfolio.

Commissions galore indeed.

The PMO releases a press statement later in the evening that the members of the cabinet held important discussions regarding the overall development of the nation. The statement further stated that the meeting also unanimously decided to fight poverty in the country and seek extra amounts from the international donor community whom was at the moment right here in the capital city. The statement concluded by saying that all the democratic forces should remain alert from the reactionary forces that were hell bent on destabilizing the incumbent regime.


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