With malice to none
Koirala and Deuba jointly object Brazil lifting the World Cup

Improbable does happen in Nepal. Absurd is not a rare commodity in Nepal. All funny and surprising things under the sun could be seen or witnessed in Nepal. Basically Nepali politics is a conspiratorial one. Conspiracy is practiced against conspiracy and the process continues. Who is the loser at the end yet again initiates conspiracy and continues his bid until he emerges victorious.

In essence, this is how Nepal stands tall in the comity of nations.

One such absurd happened only the other day.

One fine late evening what I see is President Girija Prasad Koirala knocking my office in person. Naturally this pleased me because his very august presence enhanced my personality. I could not imagine that a personality of that sort could come to my Garibkhana and that too uninvited. I thought it could be the enhanced popularity of my newspaper which brought this figure to my room.

After a few minutes of political talks with me, president Koirala suddenly asks me whether I watched the World Cup Football final. I said yes! Why not. I like football and hence enjoyed all the games, I replied.

We then begin talking:

Koirala: Don't you think Upadhyaya that the World Cup should have come to me?

Upadhyaya: Funny questions indeed! But yet why should the Cup come to you sir!

Koirala: Look! I am in politics all along for five decades plus. And look what penetrating shots I fired at Deuba recently. That was a match unparalleled in Nepali congress' history. The Cup should have come to me. I strongly protest the FIFA people awarding the Cup to the Brazilian team. What Ronaldo and Rivaldo? It should have been Koirala and Koirala only!

Upadhyaya: But sir! The Brazilians defeated the Germans. I could not notice your presence at the ground in Yokohama. How then you claim the Cup?

Koirala: You understand politics bit late, I suppose. When the whole world enjoyed my taking actions against Deuba some three weeks back, the FIFA should have honored my courage and actions. By way of reference, the entire world has witnessed our big fight to finish finale and hence the Cup must have come to me my way. The playground where I fired shot goals was the entire country and not limited to a few hectares of land in Yakohama or in Diego.

Upadhyaya: Yes sir! Now I see some point in your claim. I now realize that the FIFA men did blunder and hence I suggest you to issue a statement on behalf of your party which should state that since the FIFA undermined your forceful actions taken against Deuba so your party expels the incumbent FIFA president for five years. That would a penalty of its own kind. To legalise your claim your party can serve an ultimatum to the Japanese Prime Minister and the Korean President as well because the territories where the football matches were played came under their respective control. Some how or the other the heads of those two governments also liable to penal actions.

Koirala: Brilliant idea indeed. I did not know of your Himalayan talent. I like it. Your future is bright.

Upadhyaya: I thank you very much sir for your appreciation. It is only you Sir who has appreciated me and my talent sir! Others have rated me in a different manner.

While the conversation was going on, some one yet again knocked at the door. As the host I opened the closed gate and Lo! It is the nation's Prime Minister himself who too had come to see me in person and to talk about the same which his rival had already ventilated a few minutes back.

The two rivals meet each other in my room. I feel delighted for having hosted two senior personalities of the nation.

The mood of the room was bit hazy for about few minutes. Later both presented themselves as good friends and the talks then followed between the two:

Koirala: Look Deuba! The manner I hit you hard should have been taken into account by the FIFA men in Yokohama. Instead of awarding the World Cup to me, it has gone to Brazil. Don't you think that the Cup should have come to me?

Deuba: With all respect and honor to you Sir! I beg to differ with you. In effect the Cup should have come to me. Well the manner I retorted your penal actions by displacing you and your colleagues from my "new party" was simply superb. Look how swiftly I managed the congress men in the districts to converge in Kathmandu and within minutes expelled your colleagues from the party. My being in the government also benefited me tremendously. And this is how you also used to maneuver while being in government Sir! What I did is just copying your tactics. After all I continue to be your most trusted disciple sir!

Koirala : O.K. I accept that but don't you think that the Cup should have come to me? As senior to you, I suppose you too would not have taken it otherwise if the Cup came to me?

Deuba: As senior leader yes! But as rival I would have loved if it came to me sir! My contribution to flare up the whole congress politics in the recent weeks is not that small. Mind it that I worked hours and hours in facing your challenge. I would have been the real person for the award.

Koirala: What I understood from your clarifications is that you too were the contender of the Cup. Like you, I also consider myself to be the most appropriate candidate for the Cup. But the problem is that there is only one Cup. Even if they decide to honor us they can't do so for the Cup is only one. So what to do then?

Deuba: I have one idea sir! Now that the Cup has already gone in favor of Brazil which by all angles is an injustice to our recent fight-to-finish battle, I suggest that we jointly condemn the FIFA authorities for having made unacceptable decision. Now that we both have separate political parties, we can now jointly issue a statement condemning that the Cup, which should have come to us, has gone to Brazil. Let's expel the FIFA men for five years so that they take notice now onwards when we quarrel next time with the same magnitude and intensity.

Next morning, all the prominent Nepali newspapers printed, "Koirala and Deuba jointly object Brazil lifting the World Cup. Both the national leaders expressed that the FIFA should have at least honored them with the "Golden Boot" which it did not. Both the congress parties decided to constitute a committee to probe into the matter as to who damaged their prospects for the Cup. The committee will leave for Korea and Japan shortly. The members of the committee have been told not to vanish either in Korea or Japan which is not unusual"'.

I liked the joint statement of the two political rivals and started appreciating my own role in the whole affair. I was so pleased that I began laughing loudly.

Listening to my unusual rough and tough laughter, my wife got terrified and started crying, Upadhyaya! Upadhyaya! What the hell has happened to you? Wake up! Wake up. Come to senses! It is midnight. How the neighbors will take your unwarranted laughter and that too in the almost wee hours!

I came to senses. Later I could know that I was dreaming. The conversations of the two political heads were only my own imaginations.

But then yet I wished that the two congressmen came to terms.

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