With malice to none
Nepal's sex denied husband(s) unite!

It was a normal summer time in Nepal as usual. Nothing very special had happened except the continuing state of emergency in the country. News of killing too had become a normal feature for the Radio listeners. Housewives and the husbands were fairing their familial lives as usual.

However, some thing was being cooked up some where against the century-old "privilege" of the poor Nepali husband(s), the latter couldn't imagine even.

One fine afternoon, the Nepalese apex court gave a verdict that not only shook the entire nation but also terrified the Nepali husband(s) from within. A sort of panic prevailed instantly in the male dominated Nepali society as the court verdict had some thing to do with their activities that generally is practices in one's private lives and that too in very exclusive moments of pleasure.

The verdict curtailed their "private" rights. The verdict suddenly made the women folks more aggressive to the extent that, I am told, even those who have been ruling this country remain totally subdued and exhibit their total helplessness as and when they encounter their own better-half after their come back from their respective offices. A sort of "Female Terror" prevails in the entire nation. I am afraid, if the situation continued for long in Nepal and if the women of the SAARC region too demand from their respective courts similar rulings, then what could be concluded is that South Asian region will soon come into the hands of the women folks who will rule their respective nation's in a manner that suited them most. I am afraid of the fact that what would happen if the women folks begin taking revenge from their male opposites for the latter's centuries and centuries old inhumane domination?

Thanks the Almighty that the women activists of the region have not yet heard of the Nepali court's verdict or else would have already jammed their respective streets chanting slogans like "Down with male chauvinism; "Down with Male atrocities"; "We want our rights reserved" and the likes. The Nepali verdict now restricts Nepali husband(s) to seek prior "permission" before preparing for sexual pleasure. This was a secured right of the husband(s) in Nepal and perhaps abroad as well. The court also has told Nepali sex-lovers that even an "attempt" of sex with one's own consort will tantamount to "rape". Gone are your days Nepali husbands. Tighten your belts. Don't attempt for Viagra, if you have thought of it. A written permission from your wife is a must or else face the untold consequences. Penals actions will follow front page news dubbing your attempt for sex as a case of rape. Consider the kind of insult you will have to bear with in your family; society and the region at large. Consider what your kids will think of you if your own wife drags you to the court? The kids normally take the sides of their mother. You will not be discarded by the society but by your own babies back in the home.

I fear such insolence might tempt the Nepali husbands to commit suicide. I fear many Nepali husbands dying of this trauma. What if hundreds and hundreds of Nepali citizens committing suicide including leaders, ministers, and bureaucrats?

Who will then rule the country then? Who will make lectures then? Who will then squeeze the national exchequer then? The urge for having sex will undoubtedly prompt the husband(s) to approach the opposite sex and the abrupt denial or say refusal might infuriate the former which definitely will annoy the latter and tempt her to knock the door of the court. This means that half of the present day VVIPs of today's Nepal will by then be already behind the bars.

As is usual in Nepal, the people, read the victims of the sexual attempts, converged together and wished to form a NGO called "Sexual Victims Foundation, Nepal". The gathering hoped some donors would support their noble initiatives as it was a freedom long enjoyed by the so-called victims. This group also hoped that the finance minister would be kind enough to allocate some amounts in their name in the impending budget and in lieu the NGO would assure the minister to be of tangible support in case the minister plunged into the same case time permitting.

The congregation invited me at its inaugural session and proposed to be the chairman of the said NGO. However, I declined considering that the post if accepted would disturb my own peace of mind in the family. I thought that the post would be taken as an affront by my consort. I wished not to antagonise her.

Finally one personality in his mid-fifties was selected as the NGO chairman. The chairman claimed that he was the most tortured man on earth after the court's verdict. He showed several scars in his face. He had indeed been beaten severely by his wife for his sexual attempt on his wife.

The chairman brought the session to order. He then instructed the members, who were below ten in the first day, to present their cases in a free and frank manner.

Chairman: The floor is open now. Present your cases one by one.

Mr. A: Mr. Chairman! It has become very difficult to continue my stay in my own house after the court's verdict.

Chairman: But why?

Mr. A: My wife has suddenly become aware of her rights and now…..I feel rather ashamed in telling you…..I am warned every time I wish to attempt……Look at my bruised face. (Begins sobbing)

Chairman: Oh! Your case resembles with mine. O.K next please

Mr. B: Mr. Chairman! We all must disagree with the court's verdict. It has gone against our uninterrupted rights. After all this is a challenge to our sexual rights. We must form a bigger Federation so that we can fight for our legitimate cases in a more pronounced manner. Look at my fractured legs. She hit me with an armed chair last late night.

Chairman: We will consider your valuable suggestions. Next please.

Mr. C: (He is sobbing). Honorable chairman! I can't explain how I am being treated by my own wife these days. The day court verdict was announced, out of ecstasy I wished to enjoy sex with my wife. But then as a result since that fateful late night, I have been denied my bed room and been told to sleep in the car garrage. I have been told to wash all the kitchen utensils and prepare food for the entire family. I have been instructed to go to the vegetable market to buy vegetables or else my wife will drag me to the court for my last sexual assault on her. My kids see a big change in me. However, they don't understand why is this change? If you could provide me poison, I wish to retire from the world right now!

Chairman: Poor fellow! Next please.

Mr. D: Mr. Chairman! The court's verdict has terrified the teenagers who have come of their marriage age. Majority in this group now decline to get themselves married because of the fear of being dragged to the court by their new bride. I think this reluctance in marriage would directly affect the population graph of this country. This in a way is good news for the ministry of population. But the act of pro-creation will cease for obvious reasons.

Mr. E: Population part is O.K, but then what about the sexual urge? Should we now send our elders and teenagers to some sex parlors abroad to quench their sex thirsts? This will undoubtedly put a heavy strain on our already strained dollar-reserve. In addition to that upon return from the sex-centers what about the possibility of bringing in the virus of AIDS ? It is advisable that this NGO politely and very officially requests the court to give a second thought to its previous decision.

Chairman: Sounds logical. Next please.

Mr. F: He appears panicked. He says that he can't speak as he was beaten last night very badly by his wife for attempting…He begins weeping. People in the hall conclude that he was badly beaten and hence express their sympathies towards the wretched one.

Chairman: Though Mr. F couldn't express his pains, but yet being an expert on such matters, I could guess from his nervousness and several bandages that he has in various parts of the body. Next please.

Mr. G: Mr. Chairman! Considering the Nepali situation at the moment, I have instructed my son to marry an American citizen. This has two benefits. The moment my son marries the US citizen, he is automatically a US citizen. In doing so we the parents will also enjoy the benefits of visiting America. Time permitting I wish to send my second son to the US as well so that he too remains free from the approach of the Nepali court's verdict.

Mr: H: I wish the state declared that henceforth no one would be allowed to marry. This will greatly ease the problem currently Nepal is facing. Or else we all pray Almighty to deny the genitals to both the sexes. No genitals, no urge for sex!

Chairman: I see long queue of persons who wish to express their horrifying experiences. But time is running out and I have to wash the utensils back home as ordered by my wife and hence I wish to conclude the meeting.

( Before the chairman could leave the seat, his office peon comes running to him and whispers some thing in his ear.

Chairman: Speak loudly Mr. Peon. In a democratic society like ours every thing should be transparent. Speak what you wish to tell me so that others in the hall too could listen.

Mr. Peon: Mr. Chairman! Right outside the gate of the hall, four personalities wish to present their cases as well. They need your permission to enter the hall.

Chairman: Who they were? Did you ask their credentials?

Peon: Yes Mr. Chairman.

Chairman: Then who they are?

Peon: The first claims that he is the nation's Prime Minister. He is in national dress sir!

Chairman: (He becomes suddenly nervous listening to the credentials of the first personality and as a mark of respect stands for about a moment from the chair). He however, instantly maintains his composure and asks who was the second one in the queue.

Peon: Sir, the second man claims that he is the Justice who "announced the verdict in the court last month".

Chairman seeks a glass of water to maintain his shaken balance but yet asks who was the third one.

Peon: Mr. Chairman! The third one is a diplomat based in Kathmandu and wishes to see you immediately.

The chairman then thinks whom should he invite first before concluding the meeting.

The peon reminds the chairman of the Geneva Convention and of the special privileges that were offered to diplomats by the government of the host country.

Chairman: Mr. Peon! Ask the diplomat to come in and present his case in person.

Diplomat: Mr. Chairman! I am a diplomat. All that I wish to know from you sir is whether the Nepali court's verdict is mandatory for the Kathmandu based diplomats as well or we were immune from such domestic rulings?

Chairman: It is a complex question indeed. But then since you "attempt" on your wife being in the Nepalese soil or for that matter Nepalese territory which means that you too possess the same fate as the Nepalese. You can't escape. Rule is rule. Got the point?

Diplomat: (The diplomat is visibly shaken from within). I got your point sir!

Chairman: It would be nice if you seek transfer order(s) from your home government. Select a good country where the women folks yet have not heard of Nepali court's verdict.

Diplomat: Nice suggestion indeed. Take care and convey my regards to Madame Chairwomen!

Chairman: Who is the fourth one?

Peon: Honorable chairman, he looks like the Leader of the Opposition.

Chairman: Speaking loudly says that they all had reasons to be happy because the victims comprised of nation's bigwigs who count in national politics. The men in the hall console their hearts.

The meeting concludes.

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