Chief editor asked to mediate Government-Maoists talks

N.P. Upadhyaya

Hardly had I entered my room after my morning walk last week, my wife tells me that I will have to rush to Prime Minister Chand’s private residence where he would be waiting my arrival.

Indeed it was a rare honor that Chand after assuming the prime ministerial post had provided me this rare opportunity for I knew hundred percent that none of my other colleagues in this profession had been invited so far. I rushed towards the PM residence. At the gate, so many policemen and other security related staffs greeted me an showed me the way to Chand’s "meeting" room.

To my utter surprise, I found PM Chand waiting for my arrival anxiously. Finally he greeted me at the entrance of the said room where we were all set to begin our talks.

Chand: Thank you Mr. Upadhyaya that you finally made it.

Upadhyaya: Take it easy Mr. Prime Minister. How could it be that you ask for my presence and I do not turn up. Instead, I must thank you for your kind attention towards this "generally" neglected media man!

Chand: Look Mr. Upadhyaya! I wish that you provide me suggestions on how I should proceed with the jobs I have been told to accomplish by King Gyanendra. Also offer me on how to invite the Maoists to the negotiating table! I assure you that I will abide by what you will say here. As a good friend I will take note of your suggestions. Proceed.

Upadhyaya: Well! Since I have never been in the government and never thought of becoming a leader of the sort of the congress and the UML and hence my suggestions would be very simple but effective.

Chand: Sounds incredible but yet proceed!

Upadhyaya: To begin with Mr. Premier, activise the CIAA nabbing. This process will firstly terrorize the leaders and the businessmen alike. In the process, the former ministers and even the prime ministers will remain busy in covering up their previous scandals and you will get enough time to use your track-2 or even 4 diplomacy that will allow you to manage a link with the insurgents! Indeed the leaders about to enter the jails will cry foul. But the laymen will be behind you and your CIAA’s initiatives. But care must be taken that do not open the cases of the Lauda and the Dhamija scandals. It will have irritated some big-wigs of the country and might seek extra-territorial support to do away with you and your caretaker regime. Got the point? Tell the CIAA to pick up small fishes only. Lobsters and whales could be dealt with later when you make stable your shaky chair.

Chand: Keep it up! But are you sure that Prachanda will send his man to the table?

Upadhyaya: Yes! Surely! Because he is on record to have said that his party has kept the doors open for talks.

Chand: But he said it when Deuba was in my chair.

Upadhyaya: Chair is immaterial for them. Chair is important for you the leaders who always play foul for capturing chairs and in the process you all have entertained the nation for all along past thirteen years. They will certainly take note of your request for talks. All that you have to do is to find a suitable "link" who will prepare the ground for talks. I wish Daman Dhungana , Malla K Sundar and Tuladhar were allowed to mediate in between you two.

Chand: But why Dhungana , Malla and Tuladhar only ? What about others?

Upadhyaya: It is very simple. These two gentlemen at times speak the voices of the Maoists. They concurrently advise the other party also to refrain from violent activities. The sum total is they appear neutral or pose to be neutral. What is the harm in proceeding with these three gentlemen. After all they do not represent alien powers. All possess a strong desire that peace gets restored in this troubled nation. They all are genuine Nepalis like any of us.

Chand: Splendid idea indeed. But what if I personally request you to mediate?

Upadhyaya: Come on Mr. Premier! How can a person who has ever failed in solving his own internal house-hold problems could accomplish such a job? I think you trust me more than my wife ever trusted me.

Chand: No! I will not settle for less. You proceed with the talks.

Upadhyaya: If you insist on that then I must prepare myself for the talks. But allow me Sir that I could take the assistance of Dhungana and Tuladhar and even Malla K Sundar.

Chand: I will request them both to assist you in your new endeavor.

The meeting concludes.

Later I managed some how or the other to see Comrade Prachanda who was seated in a sofa together with Dr. Bhattarai.

Prachanda: I welcome you Mr. Upadhyaya to my undisclosed shelter. You see, while waging a sort of revolution, one has to remain alert from so many seen and unseen problems. But this place is very safe but yet we keep our shelter changing to avoid any sad eventuality.

Upadhyaya: Please allow me to speak before I listen from you both. Believe me, what I will be speaking here would be the voice of the laymen. In effect, the people-mostly in the remote districts have become the victims of you both—the Maoists in the late night and of the security forces during the day. It is the people who have been doubly hit. Just consider, what benefits you get when you destroy the school buildings and power stations and the television towers? Even a minor damage to the property of the nation at the end of the game is your loss as well. You can’t escape this responsibility. Even if you come to power, you will have to rebuild it. I wish that you and Dr. Bhattarai give second thought to your activities and remain instrumental in restoring peace which is what we all wish. I hope you too wish peace. Now that when you need peace, we all need peace then where is the difference in between we all? You got the point!

Prachanda: Is that all?

Upadhyaya: No! I haven’t finished yet. But you can proceed now.

Prachanda: I liked your sentimental statement. I honor your views but…

Upadhyaya: What is this but…? Will you explain?

Prachanda: You know it better that some seven years ago, our party had forwarded some forty-point demand which all were people-oriented. The then government led by Deuba threw our demands to the dustbin. Later, the successive governments too toed the same line. It was a matter that not only worried us all but made us to think in a bit different way. We too wished to see a Nepal free from all wants of hunger and poverty. We too wished a Nepal where all the ethnic community, tribes and sects of people shared the fruits of development. But things happened in a different manner and hence we took up a different path.

Upadhyaya: But don’t you think that your path is causing panic among the people. Your path has already taken its heavy toll. Whosoever is killed at the battle, is a Nepali-whether he is a Maoist or a security personal. That way, mother Nepal is losing her sons every day. Haven’t you thought of this?/

Prachanda: Surely yes! It is not that we have not wept for these wanton killings. Certainly we too were the sons of the same soil. But since the establishment did not listen to our modest proposals, we acquired this posture but are yet ready for bringing about a halt to these unwanted killings.

Upadhyaya: Should this mean that your party is for talks?

Prachanda: Certainly yes! We are for talks. But talks must yield some "tangible gains" for us.

Upadhyaya: Well I can’t guarantee tangible results. All that I can guarantee that the government will listen to your demands and will treat you all in a friendly manner. I will tell Chand to scrap the tag of your insurgency being dubbed as terrorist and the award on your leaders heads’. This is just inhumane. This is not compatible with democratic spirit. This notwithstanding, I am happy that you both greeted me. I am now convinced that you too long for peace. Back home, I will issue a press statement that Prachanda agrees for talks, which meant that restoration of peace in the country was round the corner. I thank you both for your expressions. But prior to I leave, I would request you both not to speed up your violent activities.

Prachanda: Convince Premier Chand also not to use force on our boys much the same way as you have been suggesting us. It should be a fair game indeed. It has been long that I too haven’t visited my own country. I miss my family members and my colleagues. My colleague Bhattarai has at least one colleague in the present cabinet. Dr. Devkota and Dr. Bhattarai both studied in Gorkha school. At least we have one man in the cabinet. People claim that Gopal Dahit is our man. But I don’t know when he joined our insurgency. But any way he is a nice person indeed from the Tharu community.

Out of excitement I became very happy and began throwing my quilt here and there which was only but natural. My excitement grew to the extent that I began crying "I have won the hearts of both Chand and Prachanda"; "Oh God bless me"; I am now number one negotiator of the nation" and the likes. In the process I became almost wild which apparently annoyed my wife.

Have you gone mad Mr. Upadhyaya? So said my wife angrily. Then she perhaps three few glasses of water in my face so that I could restore my psychological balance.

Later I was told that such whimsical self-creations were sufficient to make even a sound person like me totally mad.

In effect I was dreaming. My wife has threatened me already that if I repeated such nonsensical acts in the future, she would file a writ petition in the court seeking a divorce. But the problem is that I can’t help dreaming!.

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