With malice to none
Bid to sabotage democracy

A small village in the remote mountainous part of Nepal fortunately had an opportunity to invite a minister to inaugurate their newly built toilet-cum-bath room. Since the ministry for "Inaugural Affairs" possesses two ministers and thus the villagers were advised to invite both the ministers at the inaugural ceremony. Unfortunately, the two ministers belonged to two different political parties but then yet couldn’t resist the temptation to inaugurate the toilet-cum-bath room. It was an occasion for both to ventilate their party’s feelings towards the new system that was in vogue in the Kingdom.

It was the turn of the minister A who held the position of State Minister.

Minister A: I thank you all my dear villagers for your invitation. In fact, in Kathmandu, people do not invite us for such august ceremonies. Normally, the country’s prime minister is invited for inauguration which the latter agrees gleefully. Any way I again than you all.

Thanks the system now in place that you have got a toilet to defecate. I remember when I was myself a boy in early teens, I never had the opportunity to use such "sophisticated" facilities. It was, thanks, the wild grass in the jungles and the all-everywhere-available stones that we used extensively. Thanks the democratic system that that you have been able to enjoy this facility. In effect, my party’s government has been planning to construct toilets in the homes of all our parliamentary members and that way we will allow you all to use the facilities thus granted to our party’s lawmakers. We will instruct all our lawmakers to allow you all such facilities without chiding you the users. This process will enhance our voters to meet with their representatives every morning which will ultimately enhance the unity in and among the party members with the local voters. This would finally further our national unity.

We are trying to adopt this policy because this is not even granted to the citizens of the developed West. In fact, as and when they wish to "make water" or defecate", they are forced to pay. But here you will not pay because it is the government’s property. I wish you all make the best use of it.

However, I wish that only those will use this facility who were our party members. If some one from other party tries to use this toilet, throw the person out. We wish that our men benefit from the system and the toilet. Let’s be conservative in this regard.

Our party-government has also decided that the construction of such toilets be awarded to our own contractors. Our party is determined in this regard. Why others are awarded such rare money spinning honors. This will fetch us good money in commission and don’t forget to send my own share in that extra earnings. Thanks the system that I too have built a house in Kathmandu or else you all knew my financial status prior to I joined the government. The system has got to continue. If the system continues, persons like me and others who have joined the party system will ever prosper. It is because of this hidden fact that our leaders had championed for the restoration of the present system.

Finally, I wish the toilet be painted other than the RED. Red color is very dangerous. This pigment changes its color as and when opportunity favors it. Mind it that the color should be other than the red.

Before I conclude my short speech, I wish to inspect the toilet building by being inside the structure itself.

The minister thus enters the toilet. People outside wait the minister to come out. It is more than ten minutes, the minister is still inside. Organisers wait anxiously. One among the organisers dares to peep inside the toilet to ascertain as to what the hell the minister had been doing inside for so long. Finally it was found that the minister was unscrewing the tap and the shower fitted into the toilet.

Since it was too late and the minister A consumed much of the time in his speech and the rest inside the toilet to pocket the things which he lacked in his toilet in Kathmandu, the second minister was seduced not to make speech any more. However, Mr. B minister saw "grand designs" in not being allowed to speak on behalf of his party. This he described as to have been a conspiracy engineered by the two forces having "guns" with them. Not only this, the minister saw "international forces" to have joined forces within the nation to "sabotage" democracy.

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