2nd Impression The Telegraph

S E C O N D I M P R E S S I O N

With malice to none
Nation's Prime Minister seeks my wise counsel!

N.P.Upadhyaya

I had just returned from my morning walk and entered the room. My better half came panting and told me Congrats! Upadhyaya. I was taken aback because it was the first time in our entire life being together for 30 year plus that my wife had congratulated me for she was yet to reveal.

I asked what was the reason behind her exhibiting pleasant mood after a gap of almost a decade plus. My wife normally doesn't laugh and get excited.

She then said that she just received a call from the PMO. The man at the PMO told her to send me to the PM's office at the earliest as the Prime Minister wished to have a working lunch with me.

It was a hair-raising telephone call indeed. I started dressing up and in the process I forgot to wear the usual full-pant and instead proceeded towards the Prime Minister's residence in half-pant as a school student.

The men at the gate were duly informed about my arrival and hence had no difficulty in entering the room where the PM was anxiously waiting for my arrival. However, the men at the gate and later the PM could not control his laugh seeing me in my school pants!

I saluted the PM and thanked him for this rare gesture. In effect this was the first and perhaps the last time that any sitting prime minister had sought my presence in his room and that too exclusively.

After exchange of pleasantries and diplomatic niceties , the PM showed me my seat, which was very close to him. I thought that the PM wished to whisper in my ear and hence thought that the talks between him and myself should be of Himalayan nature.

PM: I thank you Mr. Upadhyaya for your prompt response. And sorry for the trouble I gave you this early morning.

Upadhyaya: It's OK, Mr. Prime Minister. I thank you very much for this opportunity indeed.

PM: But I see you having rushed to see me in half-pants? You look in this dress like a good-young old man!

Upadhyaya: I'm sorry sir! Take it easy while I am here. Will you instead tell me the reason as to why you summoned me in such a haste?

PM: Well! You know Mr. Upadhyaya; I was labeled an incompetent and again appointed to conduct the elections. This means that I am no more incompetent and now tell me what should I do to conduct free and fair elections as per the instructions of the Monarch?

Upadhyaya: Which election?

PM: The 2061 elections!

Upadhyaya: I guess Mr. Prime Minister the elections will not be possible this year!

PM: You speaking Koirala and his friends' language?

Upadhyaya: No sir! It is my prediction.

PM: What is the basis of your prediction in advance?

Upadhyaya: The Opposition appears reluctant in facing up the challenge. Secondly, the security situation is constantly going down. Panic prevails here and there. No politician wishes to enter into his or her own constituencies. Others claim, more so Koirala and his camp that it would not happen and if it happens then it would be a joke. Thirdly, the Maoists at the moment have gone on the rampage. Unless you do not initiate talks with them, polls appear remote if not impossible. All put together I predict that you can't conduct the elections on time.

PM: Now then tell me what should I do with the Maoists?

Upadhyaya: You must begin talks with them so that your rival Koirala does not get a chance to come closer to Prachanda as he claims today and is perhaps going to see him soon. I guess he met him in Delhi through the kind courtesy of George Fernandez and Mani Limbu.

PM: Who is this George and this Limbu?

Upadhyaya: He is the one who was clandestinely sent to Tibet during 1994 when Girija Koirala was the nation's PM. It is he who managed this meeting in NOIDA, Delhi. And Limbu is one of the friends of Sujata who managed Koirala's meeting with Prachanda in Delhi last time, I am told. It is time that you initiate dialogues with Prachanda and convince him to come to the peace talks and later fight the elections.

PM: But will he agree to the talks? Will he take part in the elections?

Upadhyaya: Why not. Prachanda's statements made so far all hint that he too wished talks. If you don't initiate talks then he might disturb the elections. If you convince the insurgents and allow some concessions, they will definitely take part in the elections.

PM: What is the benefit? Will the talks with them and theirs taking part in the elections benefit me and my new party politically?

Upadhyaya: Hundred percent. You will have several distinct benefits. Firstly, the national and the international community will take it as a very positive step. Secondly, if you initiate talks with them, they will then begin keeping Koirala and his men at a distance. Thirdly, this will reduce the chances of the elections being threatened by the insurgents. Fourthly, the insurgents might fight the elections without giving the impression that they were taking part in it. Fifthly, if they do so will mean that their candidates will be cutting the votes of the UML in the villages and the districts. And mind it Mr. PM, the UML if left unchallenged this round of elections might form their own single party government at the center.

PM: But how they will cut the votes of the UML?

Upadhyaya: Haven't you marked their speeches? They have been all along saying that the Maoists issue will be solved when they come to power. They are in power at the moment. This means that they do not wish the talks with the Maoists. For they know that if there is a talk, you might invite them for elections which they can't deny. And they will not come to the talks provided you allow them greater concessions. This again means that should they fight the elections, this they will do at the costs of the UML vote banks. The UML is a very clever lot.

PM: How could you conclude that the UML is a clever lot?

Upadhyaya: Jesus Christ! Did not you hear of the Photo episode?

PM: What was that?

Upadhyaya: The photographs of Marx and Lenin were missing all along the then American Ambassador Malinowski was seated in their office some two years ago. When the Ambassador left their office, the missing photographs of those two great political thinkers suddenly appeared.

PM: What a shrewd politicians indeed. Tell me also what to do with Prachanda's preference for the UN mediation?

Upadhyaya: What is the harm in inviting the UN?

PM: Well you know how friends in the neighborhood will express their resentment on this count!

Upadhyaya: Mind it Mr. Prime Minister, Kul Chandra Gautam has recently said that if you don't seek UN support, foreign intervention could not be ruled out in this country!

PM: What does this all mean?

Upadhyaya: This means that if the UN is engaged in the talks, even India and China can't express their displeasure.

PM: Are you sure?

Upadhyaya: Yes! I wish the UN to come. It is not a third party as Gautam told us. It would be nice if you talks about UN involvement with Man Mohan Singh in your impending trip to Delhi!

PM: What if he disagrees?

Upadhyaya: In that case you tell Mr. Singh that we have already decided to bring in the UN. This is the wishes of the people. That's all.

PM: Let's have a drink Mr. Upadhyaya!

Upadhyaya: Thanks Mr. PM. I don't drink in alien places. But I'd prefer hot-coffee instead.

(In the meantime Coffee is served. Suddenly a big Dobbermann dog appeared in front of me. I panicked out of fear. In the process the cup with the hot Coffee spilled over my half-pant. I cried and cried out of severe pain. Out of terrible pain in my loins, I was throwing the pillows here and there. Listening to my cry mixed with panic, my wife began crying Upadhyaya! Upadhyaya! What's wrong with you? Please wake up! It's time for your morning walk. Have your first cup of bed-tea.

(All that was left with me was the recollection of the pleasant dream. These days I am dreaming too much. May be it is a sign of Low Pressure or even it could be the beginning of Diabetes symptoms. This means that my days of being invited by personalities like the nation's prime minister were coming to a close!)