Faces of dowry in Mithila region of Nepal

Jayanti Jha

In ancient time, Mithila, the centre of Hindu culture and civilization, with Janakpur as its capital was ruled by the philosopher king, Janak, some 10,000 years ago. Now, "Mithila Region" covers Nepal’s Terai Region and India’s State of Bihar. Maithili, Bhojpuri, and Hindi are the commonly spoken in this region. Since Nepal-India border is open and no passport is required for the inhabitants of the two countries to travel across the border, marriage is quite common between the two countries. In certain pockets as much as 70 per cent of the marriages occur across the border in India while the remaining marriages takes place horizontally within the same district or among the different districts in the Nepal’s "Mithila Region."

In Nepal’s Mithilanchal region, the dowry system though prevailing since time immemorial has shown its ugly face mostly after 1960. Violence against the women in the form of mental and physical torture is a common affair. At times, the unlucky women not bringing enough of dowry from the parental house are even burnt or smothered alive! This ugly phenomenon, though not most common, takes place sporadically in the birthplace of Sita, the daughter of Mithila married to the Ramayanic hero Lord Ram.

Dowry is defined differently by different people. Generally, it is perceived as the property brought by a bride at the time of marriage. It may consist of both movable and immovable property. Dowry, in our country, is a part of a social custom and tradition. However, the pious wish behind the dowry is forgotten. It is no longer treated as security now as in the past but as a "free" wealth awarded to the bridegroom’s family for owning a "son". Those girls who can’t bring good dowry becomes disqualified to approach for well-to-do husbands no matter howsoever virtues they are.

In Mithilanchal, the common word used for the term dowry is "Tilak" or "Dahej". In Tilak, the bride has no right to enjoy the property that she brings from her parents’ to the in-laws house. Tilak is the amount to multiply the wealth of the bride’s in-laws. There is a feeling that marriage is not complete without dowry. It is hardly believed that a daughter might live and get settled happily after marriage without dowry. Therefore, each parent likes to give adequate dowry during the time of marriage to the daughter.

Apart from beauty and talent, a Maithil girl needs a huge dowry to get a suitable bridegroom. Girls, whose parents cannot fulfill the greed of in-laws for "more" Tilak have to bear "more" physical and mental torture. If a bride’s guardian is not in a position to pay dowry in cash and kind, he has to manage it anyway either by taking loan or by disposing his land or other property. Many parents become paupers after paying large dowries to their daughters. And if they are unable to pay the agreed amount, the marriage may break down. Once the marriage proposal is broken, it doesn’t affect much the guy’s prestige, whereas it may create a lot of problems and inconvenience for a girl to get married with a suitable guy.

Now, dowry is a compulsion and as such a curse for women dignity and a great problem in the Mithila region. Not limited only to this fact, a bride has to hear from her in-laws and face serious consequence for not bringing "more" dowry.

Apart from dowry, the marriage procession and party expenses also need to be fulfilled by the bride’s family, that also as per the expectations of the bridegroom’s family. This demand of hospitality of big party is a serious burden to the bride’s family both financially and otherwise. If everything goes as per bridegrooms’ families wish, it’s fine. Otherwise, it might invite problems in the relationship between the two families.

The dowry system has taken a deep root in the society. It is also said that the more the bridegrooms and his family are economically well off the more they are greedy for dowry, So the price of the boy, like that of a commodity or an animal, depends upon his property, educational background and the nature of his job.

It is a common practice in this culture if a guy who is by profession a doctor, he demands a girl of the same profession and his parent demands a huge dowry, just to compensate the amount they invested in his studies. They don’t think even a bit that a girl’s father also paid the same amount of money as they did. In spite of the girl being equally qualified and able as the guy, the girl’s parents must pay a huge amount of dowry, else their daughter won’t get married. The boy’s family is in a win-win situation while the girl’s family not only loses its educated daughter but also the money they invested for the daughter’s education. This is the only reason why the girls are not being educated by their parents.

The parents do have the wrong perception i.e. "if a girl will be educated then they have to find a guy higher than their status, where the rate of Tilak will be above their reach". This seems the main reason behind their illiteracy. Another traditional and conservative thought is -"what is the use to invest in girl education, because finally she has to leave the house taking a huge amount of Tilak with her. Unfortunately, there is no change in this thinking though the world has turned into a global village with the advent of transport and communication facilities and people touching moon or even mars.

Dowry is a means of high status symbol for the family who receives a huge dowry for the marriage of a son. Even the family who pays a hefty dowry to get a daughter married gets a boost in status. The land which was noted for philosophical and cultural superiority is dominated by materialistic way of life where the ‘demand’ for the dowry and its ‘supply’ dominates the social life.

However, there are some liberal families as well who do not take dowry. They silently revolt against the ugly form of dowry. Sometimes, taking advantage of this situation, the certain girls’ families even do not perform the rituals properly in order to save their money. This in a way trims the voice of revolt against dowry. Isn’t it shameful to make a foundation of modern society without giving up the conservative thinking? Except some liberal families, neither educated nor uneducated families have stepped forward to stop this social rogue.

Dowry has its impact mostly among the higher caste people, particularly among the economically affluent and politically powerful groups like Bhramins, Rajputs, Kayasthas, Bhumihars and Vaishyas. Because of demonstration effect, the other castes people, including the Dalits are also largely affected. So much so that even people of the hill origin are not untouched from dowry. Even among these people violence against women is perceptible, though it is not as common as in Mithilanchal.

For all practical purposes, coercion in dowry has spoiled the social fabric, particularly in the relation between the two families. In Nepal, coercive dowry is punishable by law, but it is not yet implemented in a proper way.

Now, we have entered into the 21st Century, the most modern age, where the word "marriage", is loosing its dignity because of this dowry system. It is high time to raise a voice against it. If any effective step is not taken immediately, the situation might go beyond control and the girls and boys might become blind in selecting partners of ‘temporary’ nature, which might prove anti-thesis to the existing social fabric.

Young generation needs to work harder to revolt against this outmoded dowry system. This can be done by launching effective awareness campaign. All effective legal course should be implemented against the dowry ‘takers’ and ‘givers’. This is only possible with proper education that is lacking a lot in the rural areas of Mithila. Education is the most valuable dowry given to a girl. No other material involvement can compensate it.

Mrs. Jha is associated with the NGO, Foundation for Economic and Social Change (FESC).

Nepal's Business Magnate: Mohan Gopal Khetan-IV

Dispute and Organization

I have disputes with politicians once in a while and sometimes they force me into disputes. Just like ‘the great’ Girijababu involved me in the Arun-III dispute. Unfortunately we had gone to Germany together. There he saw all my relations and this he could not digest. Then he made up team of 9-10 people from the Trade and Commerce Federation who conducted a sort of coup.

The Nepal Communist Party (UML) is not to blame for the failure of Arun-III. It was Clinton who was to blame. Clinton became the President of the United States in 1994. McNamara, who used to love Nepal, died. Someone named Pierson had already signed the required documents and approved everything. UML was just an excuse; they would not have cancelled the project just because of a notice from the UML. They clearly understood the capacity of Nepal. Hari Pandey and Bharat Mohan had gone to the meeting of the World Bank. Everyone has interests for the country. If Nepal had received that project, we would have moved quite a bit forward by now. This was not what India wanted. That is why there was always struggle in the board. President Pierson died around March. The project was to start from June. All contracts had been arranged. Only the money remained to be produced. At the same time, there were elections in Germany. Chancellor Kohl, who was in favor of Arun-III, lost his majority in the parliament. The middlemen who ran the so called NGO/INGOs in Nepal tried to extract money out of the World Bank, but they were not successful. They used the Green Revolution in Germany. They had some seats, and if Chancellor Kohl were to get their support, he could form a government. The Green Revolution put the cancellation of Arun-III as one of the pre-conditions for supporting Chancellor Kohl. On the other hand, Clinton’s primary objective was something else. We did not have a lobby there. After Pierson’s death, Wilsang became president of the World Bank. Clinton told the bank that the government could not provide much money and that there should be a cut in the number of projects the World Bank undertook. So the $180 million project was withdrawn from Nepal.

It’s not that we did not try at all. The change in international affairs, a new management at the World Bank, all contributed to the cancellation of the project. I had brought the Japanese company CTC and made a study in 1980. Since it was not yet implemented by 1994, they could do nothing to lobby for the project. Nepal went into political instability. Arun-III was the first cancellation in the World Bank’s move to cut expenditure. After Prime Minister Man Mohan Adhikary personally made a call, they were willing to invest in the Power Development Fund. Unfortunately, today, 10 years later, that fund has not been utilized yet. I brought Melamchi in 1996. The Swedish company said that they would make it a turnkey for US$150 million. Prime Minister Sher Bahadur Deuba had made commitments in England, but he spent all his time in its study. In the meantime, Binayak Bhadra and the Prime Minister’s Personal Assistant etc. started a ploy saying that it was not possible to give the money directly, but if done through the World Bank or ADB, it would be possible. Thus after Arun-III, the victim of commission-hungry strategists was the Melamchi project. Later Ravindra Nath Sharma became the Finance Minister and Ram Binod Bhattarai became the Finance Secretary. No one wanted to risk it. The poor Swedish followed up for one whole year. Finally they got tired and left condemning Nepal to Khimti Khola and Bhotekoshi. After all Pashupati Shumsher was an aristocrat, he would be happy if he was offered a diplomatic dinner. What was thought would be a benefit to the country in the future became a liability. They take 40% of the money that NEA earns. Thus NEA will go bankrupt. Still they don’t understand. In Maharastra, Enron had given a guarantee of 40%, but corruption is corruption.

NEA could investigate whether the invested amount meets the promised amount and return whatever has been invested along with the proper interest and take the rights to the Bhotekoshi and Khimti projects. But there is mafia involvement in water resources. They want their commission. On top of that Prabhakar Shumsher is in charge of Bohtekoshi, no one can touch him. The Khimti Khola project is in the hands of the Norwegians. They say that there will not be any foreign investment made in the future. Why won’t the investments come? They are not dependent upon one project or other. They sold the Butwal Power Plant because they needed the money for Melamchi. That is why all countries are run according to personal interests of some selected few.

Since 2019 BS, I had relations in politics through Dr. Tulsi Giri. I was even a member of the Royal Nepal Panchayat Democratic Communist Party. There was a team which included Jogmeher Shrestha, Gehendra Bahadur, journalist Sitaram Bhandari, Hiralal Bishwakarma, Manidra Acharya and myself. During the time of the Panchayat system, I earned a lot but I also spent wholeheartedly. I earned a lot of respect as well. Who was the richest man in Nepal? In 2045B.S Bhadrabahadur had to say at the Rastriya Panchayat that the number one tax payer in Nepal was Mohan Khetan. It does not matter who Golcha, Dugar, M.C. or Chaudhari Group might be, but my contribution to the revenue has been the only official declaration in the parliament.

Since then, a lot of water has flowed in the Bagmati river, maybe I’ve reached higher grounds, because I see that they get bank notices asking them to come and submit money. By god’s grace I have not had to see those days. I’m living a prestigious life.

But I have also had failures. I had invested in Magnasite, Ganesh Himal, Butwal Threads etc. The wish of the then King was to promote national industrialists. In 2042BS I had opened an industry for Bhadra Bahadur. I lost a lot of money in failed industries.

Nationalist Khetan

Mohan Khetan is a synonym of nationalism. My work is to raise social and political awareness and to highlight the sufferings of business people with help of the media. With the embargo that India imposed on Nepal in 1989, it became clear to me that India would never allow this country to move forward. I also worked with Marich Man Singh. The palace saved Nepal at that time. I also understood through books on Sikkim, how India had made plans to take Nepal. In 2009BS Keshar Shumsher and others abandoned their call for a constituent assembly and saved Nepal.

Political Discussions

These days, the call for a constituent assembly is rising again, but for what? There hasn’t been a constituent assembly in any country with a monarchy. A constituent assembly is the drafting of a new constitution by ‘revolutionaries’ with articles heavily favoring them, and is conducted only when there has been a revolution, or a new nation has been born, or an old system has collapsed. But, you can make the people who are not capable of even putting down their own signatures go to a constituent assembly or a referendum. If you believe that a right decision will be reached through a constituent assembly, first educated the people, free them from poverty, give them social security and economic development as in Norway or Sweden. Only when the people are educated can the King become dignified. There will be less political intervention by the King as well. It is not enough for 500 clever and smart people in Kathmandu to be able to read and write. Even the chairman of the Trade and Commerce Federation has said that there should be a constituent assembly. Has he understood what a constituent assembly is? We need a constituent assembly if we are to go into a desert and establish a new nation, but is that possible? It is easy to threaten and lure the uneducated populace with guns and money.

(Dossier to be concluded)

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